Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN | on hbo

Just re-watched it on a whim after ONCE and have to say, wow; this movie is good. Hot sex aside (and there's a bit of that, clearly), the style of the thing is great. It's a story about boys becoming men, about "brothers from another mother," and the way Diego and Gael--aww, jeez, can I call them that? after seeing them in person once? I don't think so--the way Luna and Garcia Bernal interact, sexually and otherwise, impresses me every time. And Cuaron knows how to work a voice over.

I don't know if people like how much certain modern Mexican movies--I guess I mean Cuaron films--use voice over. I often don't prefer it in American films, but I can always stand it in a Cuaron film. Why is that? It's done better, that's why. I'm watching JUMPER right now, and the voice over is so heavy-handed ("I wanted to tell her so much...but I couldn't...so I left."), it doesn't add to the story. And in my opinion, if it's not adding, it's subtracting. If you're not part of the solution...

More on JUMPER later.

Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN (2001)
plot: A lady's last sex wish.
thought: Wouldn't you choose Gael, too?
in five: 4/5
sexually speaking: IMDB page

ONCE | on hbo

Missed this one two years ago, and have wanted to see it since. Many compared AUGUST RUSH to ONCE--they both feature a love story, a male musician, and some great city locations--but the similarities kind of stop there. ONCE is...a remarkable achievement. And I don't mean to discredit RUSH, but ONCE doesn't just hit the ball; it knocks it out of the park.

Did I just make a baseball metaphor?

Like Juan-Pierre of the LA Dodgers, ONCE goes into beast mode!

Yes, I did.*

But ONCE is, uh, better than baseball. ONCE is like...an ice cube melting. It starts out all packed together--boy sings a song, boy meets girl--and you think you know where it's going to go, but then it settles into its warmth and puddles out into something refreshingly original (did that metaphor work?), both happy and sad. It's romantic without being sentimental; it's quirky without being too clever; it's sweet without being too artificial; it's real without being dark. It's indy, but it feels new. It made me cry. And it stars that guy from The Frames!

In America, musicians who star as musicians in movies are kind of jokes. Britney Spears in CROSSROADS; Mariah Carey in GLITTER. And when a part calls for a musician, they often use an actor: Joaquin Phoenix in WALK THE LINE; Jonathan Rhys Meyers in AUGUST RUSH. Sure, there's a Jamie Foxx in RAY to make waves, but in general, musician in real life does not equal believable musician in film. Enter Glen Hansard who plays our starring "Guy" to Marketa Irglova's "Girl" in ONCE. Without them both, this film would not have been the fairytale it was. Sure, their accents were a little hard for me to follow at first (thick Irish has never been an easy one for me), but the brogue was worth deciphering, most definitely.

The tale between them unfolds sweetly, warming around the edges, melting even cynical me and showing that, as you might expect, (spoiler alert) the best love stories are the ones that happen once.

ONCE (2006)
plot: Music is the food of love.
thought: Bittersweet yet good to eat.
in five: 4.5/5
fall in slowly: http://www.foxsearchlight.com/once/

*=I actually hate sports. Everything but football-football (i.e., soccer) and American college football--and there still everything but my alma mater's football--and ice skating. Oh, and competitive cheer. And I can stand Olympics swimming and gymnastics. But otherwise, through and through, me no likey the back and forth competition. It's not a truth I tend to confess, but there you go; I'm a team sports-hater.

two months worth of fire city rentals

Here comes the rainstorm.

Back in March, Turner Classic Movies was running a special on--get this--classic movies. This time, the special was focused: it was for the few, the proud, the Oscar-nominated. I missed most of the specials, but I managed to catch the last fourth of THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY, as well as the entire cut of THE AFRICAN QUEEN, starring Humphrey Bogart in a less-than-luxurious role and Katharine Hepburn at perhaps her most prude and uppity. She's a British missionary, he's a Canadian alcoholic, it's the middle of World War II and they team up to rush the African bush and sink the Louisa, a German vessel. Bogart won the Academy Award--and a handle of rum.

THE AFRICAN QUEEN (1951)
plot: Missionary on a wild streak.
thought: Mid-century sexual innuendos abound!
in five: 3/5
sail away

Next up, decided to catch a Christmas movie that had mildly interested me the first time it came around. I missed it, because it was in theatres for all of two minutes, which should have tipped me off. Though it co-stars Sarah Jessica Parker and Luke Wilson, neither of these facts really recommend it to me. But I don't blame the movie (completely). It's a holiday film AND a romantic comedy! They're just not my genres.

THE FAMILY STONE (2005)
plot: Lame girlfriend visits the family.
thought: I prefer holidays chez moi.
in five: 1.5/5
family time

Next, grabbed some friends together to see an original sci-fi thriller. Now, I thought I had already seen ALIEN. And parts of it looked familiar, but I think I might have been confusing it with the sequels. Just not sure, really. Luckily, I saw it now--and it was awesome.

ALIEN (1979)
plot: Watch out, alien on board.
thought: It will suck you up.
in five: 4.5/5
abandon ship!

I consider myself a fan of the Coen Bros., even though I haven't seen all their films. Still haven't seen FARGO. And I know--that's bad--but I'm going to see it eventually; I will. Until then, I'll content myself with Billy Bob Thornton and his black-and-white fight against the fetters of society. If the score doesn't get you, the subtle story twists will.

THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE (2001)
plot: Disenchanted barber makes unfortunate choices.
thought: Were 1940s actually like this?
in five: 3.5/5
read it and watch it

A departure from the serious--I think I've found my new favorite guilty pleasure. Not only does Chris Rock play the part of about five different supporting characters, but Wanda Sykes steals the show as the title character's girlfriend, Biggie Shorty. The film is unabashedly ridiculous and invents its own language (Sepatown!). I'm not under any pretenses that POOTIE TANG is going to be memorable to anyone outside of a small circle of my friends, but frankly, I don't care.

POOTIE TANG (2001)
plot: Sa da tay! Kapa-chow!
thought: Watch this, ya greezy basterd.
in five: 4/5
quote it, too

Huge Tina Fey fan--and I wouldn't kick Amy Poehler out the house for tracking in dirt--so was excited to see them costar in the upcoming comedy. It wasn't as hilarious as I'd have liked, but both of them are comedy idols in my opinion, so whatever, they ruled it well enough. I think the reason why it wasn't as well received as, say, Fey's impressions of Sarah Palin, is because it was a softer comedy. It was an unconventional romantic comedy, but it was still a romantic comedy. Oh wait, doesn't that mean I should have hated it? Well...I didn't HATE-hate it....

BABY MAMA (2008)
plot: Single lady's baby clock goes tick-tock.
thought: Adoption is always an option.
in five: 3/5
bring baby home

Back to the dark side for a Sundance so-called favorite that I was hearing mixed things about. Well, I liked BLINDNESS. Based on the 1995 Portuguese novel by Jose Saramago, the film is dark and explored something people don't like to consider--that is, it looked at what animals we all can be when put in animalistic circumstances. Left with the lawless, forgotten, frightened and confused? My advice is this: lock your doors, watch your crotch, and hide your food.

BLINDNESS (2008)
plot: All society suddenly goes blind.
thought: ...then caca hits the fan.
in five: 3.5/5
watch and go blind!

Love Michel Gondry, so it was only natural that I'd want to catch his latest and greatest. I know the jury was split on THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP (which personally, I enjoyed immensely the first time and a little less the second), but such is the fantastic, artistic nature of Gondry's films. It's not about "good" or "bad"--they're art. All art is art, tout court. And dammit if the term "sweded" isn't clever.

BE KIND REWIND (2008)
plot: DVD kills the video store.
thought: Then comes Netflix, On-demand & Blu-Ray!
in five: 4/5
get sweded

After hearing all the noise about Prop 8, I've striven to educate myself more about gay rights. I took this quiz online (through Project Implicit) that said I was "somewhat accepting" about gay people, and I was kind of ashamed. I voted no on Prop 8 like any smart person with a heart would, but I'm not content feeling anything less than completely accepting about everyone who walks life a little differently than I do. "Tolerant" isn't the right word--tolerant means you bite your tongue. Accepting means you open your arms.

Maybe it's dumb, but that's part of why I watched PUCCINI FOR BEGINNERS. That isn't to say I watched the film and went, "Oh wow, now I know what it is to be a lesbian. Check that box--I accept." No. Duh. But five years ago, I would have read about a movie about a lesbian romance and thought something like, "What a funny story; that doesn't really exist, does it?" So like Lindsay Lohan's character in MEAN GIRLS, I'm sucking the minimal amounts of poison out, one gay-themed movie at a time, I guess.

PUCCINNI FOR BEGINNERS (2006)
plot: Pretentious lesbian reconfirms her lesbianism.
thought: "Puccini" in the title = yawn.
in five: 2.5/5
listen in

So I didn't like the movie much, but let's face it--it was a bit of a romantic comedy. It also had that high-brow "I'm from the upper [insert direction] side" New Yorker humor that tends to attract an eye roll from me. So haha, wasn't the best.

There were more rentals from the last few months--but I'll cover those in a future post. Aaaaah, this took forever to write. I've lost my touch. But it's official. I'm back.

Laffer Saturday (Hamlet 2 & Grosse Pointe Blank)

Saw two comedies chez moi this weekend, both of which I loved.

HAMLET 2, starring Steve Coogan as a nutty high school theatre teacher struggling to produce an off-color play that will let him deal with his daddy issues. It is awkward city, but it is funny. Co-stars Marisa Tomei, Amy Poehler and Elisabeth Shue.

plot: Producing art is never easy.
thought: Woo, there are rape jokes.
in five: 3.5/5
play on: http://www.filminfocus.com/focusfeatures/film/hamlet_2

GROSSE POINTE BLANK, starring John Cusack in probably one of the best turns in his career, as an insecure hit man who travels home for his high school reunion. Co-stars Minnie Driver, Dan Aykroyd and Jeremy Piven.

plot: Hitman remembers his first love.
thought: Best dialogue of 1997.*
in five: 4/5
on imdb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119229/
read the first draft here.

*=FARGO actually won the award that year. GPB wasn't even nominated, which is sadness.

Blockbuster Stimulus Package

What a sad/annoying thing it is to try and find a Blockbuster during a recession. They're dropping like flies! I didn't notice it at first, but on my latest look around the street corner, I saw nothing but empty windows. And a sign. "This location has closed."

In an attempt to raise the revenue of the Blockbuster further down the street, I launched into rental mode again. First up was the film noir that informed the OG I wrote about last week, BRICK. I was a mite bit embarrassed that I had alluded to CHINATOWN in my writing but actually had never seen it, so it was time, for Blockbuster's sake and for mine, to remedy that.

CHINATOWN
plot: Water and murder under the bridge.
thought: Is Chinatown really that shady?
in five: 4/5
whose your daughter?: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071315/

I watched CHINATOWN with my friend Tivo, who suggested following it up with the mid-nineties, we-heard-it-was-a-classic BOONDOCK SAINTS. I love-love-love RESERVOIR DOGS and PULP FICTION, both of which were referenced on the back of BOONDOCK's dvd case, so I had high hopes. And since I was in an underbelly-of-the-city kind of place, I knew I was in the right mindset. But BOONDOCK....It was weird. It felt like it was trying to be pulpy but was missing the mark. I know that it came out before QT sprayed bullets from the reservoir, so that means it wasn't trying to imitate these works, even though they seemed to beg comparison. So what was the excuse for the kitsch? I couldn't tell if it was supposed to be grindhouse, like bad for the sake of its genre...or if it was just bad.

BOONDOCK SAINTS
plot: Bible-bashers on a killing spree.
thought: Is this a B-movie...or a bad movie?
in five: 2.5/5
pray or be prey: http://www.boondocksaints.com/

We watched MEMENTO next, and it was good as always. But then the darkness was done; I wasn't looking to wallow in crapulance for the whole weekend. For a little bit of light, I went for the film that fell second to ONCE two years ago--because apparently, you only can have one indie movie starring the musically talented per Awards Season.

AUGUST RUSH
plot: Boy prodigy searches for parents.
thought: Robin Williams exploits children...weird.
in five: 2.5/5 for the movie, but 3/5 for the music
music time: http://augustrushmovie.warnerbros.com/

What's up next, you ask? Well, renting from Blockbuster costs more than it used to, so I'll resort to the DVDs around the apartment for my next rental special. Here's to hoping the entire movie store chain doesn't crumble without my love.

Slacking at the bit (rentals & remorse)

Lately, I've been perma-exhausted in the worst way, and I don't even know why. Maybe it's all the lack of sleep. But you know, I would sleep more if I wasn't so busy. I'd be less busy if I didn't have a job. In a crumbling economy, however, the ability to work isn't something over which one should openly fret. It's distasteful. Almost as distasteful as me consistently konking out on the couch while watching TV nearly every evening. What to do to cure this state of accidental-comatose...caffeine? Coffee does tend to make a day pass more quickly. So do movie rentals.

Last week was grand, saw a small number of great flicks. First up, however, I finally--finally--gave up my quest to watch SUPERSTAR. I've more or less seen the movie, in bits in pieces, over the last ten years of my life, but about a month ago, I decided I wanted to, at long last, watch the whole kit-n-kaboodle in one clean squat. Unfortunately...exhaustion swept in. I've tried watching SUPERSTAR, in the last month, about four times. I'm done trying. My tivo is done holding onto it, too. DELETE. I trust it's funny, and you know what? I got the gist. "Sexually nervous girl with a crush on the school dance-jock actually ends up falling for a misfit, stuttering bad boy." YAY.

I also begrudgingly deleted MR. WOODCOCK from my tivo bin (is there a name for that, really? bin? queue? menu? list? or just always, obligatorily "tivo," tout court?). Sorry, Sean William Scott. Billy Thornton. Susan Sarandon. I tried.

Now, onto what I actually did see.

In preparation for the super-fun of TAKEN, I had a hankering to watch some Liam Neeson. Caught the under-the-radar action-comedy GUN SHY (2000), which was quirky and satisfying. In it, Liam plays an undercover cop who witnesses a horrifying gangster coup while he's on duty and hence needs a bit of counseling to coax him to revisit his role as bad guy mediator. Co-stars Sandra Bullock, looking lovelier than usual, and Oliver Platt, playing a guy named Fulvio...which is neat. It was weird, a little unfocused, but witty, and it made for a nice character study.

GUN SHY
plot: A plea for gun control.
thought: When does Bullock get TAKEN?
in five: 3/5
shoot 'em up, wuss: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0171356/

Next up was another throw back: Steven Soderbergh's SEX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPE. I didn't realise how far back I was throwing, however--I'd actually been under the impression that SLV was rather recently released, though now I don't know why. The minute James Spader came on the screen, I was like, "Wait, what?" But I still was figuring it for late nineties--until I saw Peter Gallagher. Ok. He's aged well, but this was not Gallagher from "The OC." Clearly, I should have caught the time period from the shoulder pads on Andie MacDowell, but forgive me. Despite its 1989 release, the film feels incredibly modern. The dialogue in SLV is amazing, and the deliberate pacing drew me in remarkably--slow, without a hint of lassitude. Spader's character is not as "realised" as I would like, but I basically forgive it, thanks to the cohesion of every other moment.

SEX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPE
plot: Videotapes and lies about sex
thought: No, really, that's about it.
in five: 4/5
tape it: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098724/

Heading in a different direction, thematically (but in the same direction, temporally), I scaled back to 1988 next with BIG, the Tom Hanks starrer that I can't believe I haven't seen until now. It's adorable--and so is David Moscow, who plays Tom Hanks' character's childhood self, the young Josh. I just looked up Moscow to see where he's been all these years since (and what he looks like now, natch), because in BIG, he looked every bit like Kirk Cameron, and I seriously saw him and had a JGL-in-Holy-Matrimony moment...but I guess something went awry, because history has proven me wrong. The world hasn't seen much of Moscow since, well, NEWSIES and that short-lived but kinda funny show on the WB, "Zoe, Duncan, Jack & Jane." Well, at least the world finished off okay--we still got Tom Hanks.

BIG
plot: Boy wishes to be big!
thought: Has sex with a woman!
in five: 4/5
they grow up so fast: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094737/

So...in the title of this post, I also promised remorse. I was being melodramatic, perhaps. I do have a bit of remorse--I still haven't written about my visit to ONE SUNSET, where I enjoyed the chef's tasting menu and reached a moderate level of food bliss, nor have I talked about LITERATI CAFE, my new favorite lunch stop on the west side--close to work and delicious, both of which recommend it to my palate. Cheap soups, too. Furthermore, I have yet to discuss my thoughts on TAKEN (loved it), or start posting recipes, a dream I've been toying with for some time now. I cook more these days (thanks, Recession), and I like to experiment. Sometimes I pass...other times, I kinda fail. But listen, don't let anyone tell you not to try.

Voila, there it is, my remorse. I want to write these things, but not sure if I really will. REMORSE! Well, if I don't end up doing it, I've already (sort of) apologised here, so...deal with it, Cate Blanchett. We'll be in touch.

Rent Your Face Off: two weeks, 11.5 movies

I've had comedy on the mind for some time now. And given the lack of good cinema fare, I decided to bring the cinema home to me. I mean, come on. My tv is the size of your mom before she "called Jenny." Bigger, even. And thus commenced the TiVo-tastic boob tube fest and Blockbuster rental-rama.

First up, an off-beat movie about cops. Or a cop movie about beating off? There is a lot of sexual innuendo enshrouded in the Reno Police force. You be the judge.

RENO 911: MIAMI
plot: Incompetent squad saves Miami Beach.
thought: Meow I wanna watch SUPER TROOPERS.
in five: 2.5/5
A little more Reno

Now, I know the show "Extras" isn't a movie, but I'd been dying to catch an episode for some time. Didn't get around to it until the season finale, and hey, it was two hours. So I'm counting it as half a movie.

EXTRAS: EXTRA SPECIAL SEASON FINALE
plot: Ricky Gervais gets cocky, loses dignity.
thought: Glimpse the natural Hollywood trajectory.
in five: 3.5/5
A few more extras

I liked the idea of the next movie (also a TiVo find), because I've never met a black guy who only dates white girls. Well, apparently, that man doesn't exist.

I'M THROUGH WITH WHITE GIRLS (THE INEVITABLE UNDOING OF JAY BROOKS)
plot: Black man dates black woman.
thought: There's no hope for interracials?
in five: 3/5
A little less biracial dating

I like Owen Wilson, and YOU, ME AND DUPREE was airing commercial-free. I don't like rom-coms, so I wasn't expecting to really like it...and I didn't...so there you go.

YOU, ME AND DUPREE
plot: Kate Hudson's husband thinks she's cheating (with co-star Owen Wilson).
thought: And we have to watch.
in five: 2/5
A little more Michael Douglas

Classic Jim Carrrey ahead! And isn't that his best stuff? I'm a mega-fan of TRUMAN SHOW, and I very much enjoyed FUN WITH DICK & JANE, but I think LIAR, LIAR is the movie--more than any of the Ace Ventura's--that explains why so many people would pay money to watch this guy contort his face and act the fool. He's over the top. He's a little annoying. But he's classic, comedy gold.

LIAR, LIAR
plot: A lawyer tries out honesty.
thought: Jim Carrey as a serious actor.
in five: 4/5
Full-length film on Hulu.com

Meant to catch IN BRUGES when it came out in theatres, so when my friend TiVo brought it over for movie night, I jumped at the chance. Colin Farrell does not disappoint. I want this film to win the Oscar for Original Screenplay.

IN BRUGES
plot: Hitman hides out in Lametown.
thought: Sweetly glorious in its simplicity.
in five: 4/5
A little more Belgium nightlife

Anthony Minghella was a very respected director, and I haven't been exposed much to his work. This is why I was thrilled to see THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY, which my friend Curly Beast counts as one of her favorite films. I liked it, but I wasn't prepared for where it went. And it left me with too many questions, the simplest being...why the heck didn't Mr. Ripley leave Europe to escape the mess he was in? No answers.

TALENTED MR. RIPLEY
plot: Matt Damon pales in comparison to Jude Law.
thought: See above.
in five: 3.5/5
A little more creepy time

After that darkness, I wanted something light, easy to handle. I'd heard that SHALLOW HAL was cuter than you might think years ago, and it fit the mood I was in. It was, of course, mildly ridiculous. And Jack Black hadn't quite found his big screen groove yet, I'd argue. But I saw where he was going, and I love him now. Go, Jack, go.

SHALLOW HAL
plot: Asshole unknowingly dates fat girl.
thought: Cuter than you might think.
in five: 3/5
A few more fat jokes

Another overlooked release from a few years back that ended up on the TiVo. It aired on the LOGO Network, which is a gay cable network I'd never watched before, but fast-forwarding through the commercials while leisurely taking in IMAGINE ME & YOU around 1am one weeknight, I've got one thing to say about LOGO: you look hilarious. I'm not in your demo, but I might just watch some of your shows anyway.

IMAGINE ME & YOU
plot: Closet lesbian discovers her vagina.
thought: Time to return wedding presents!
in five: 3/5
A little more lesbian love

Ohhhh Sacha Baron Cohen. You're too much. I love that he got so many lawsuits after making this movie, and I also love that he didn't break character once. Clutch move. Have you ever seen him as himself, like at an awards show? He's almost boring. That's a comedic gift.

BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN
plot: Faux-Kazakh man makes faux-documentary.
thought: Mocking America usually plays well.
in five: 3.5/5
A little more SBC craziness

I'd never even heard of TOOTSIE until about three months ago, but then suddenly, someone was bringing it up in conversation almost every five days. After some UCLA instructor told me I should see it, I finally said, "OKAY!" Had no clue what it was about. But turns out, that doesn't matter, because when a screenplay is well written, you get on board right away.

TOOTSIE
plot: Faux-woman becomes TV sensation.
thought: He's in drag...and it works.
in five: 3.5/5
A little more cross-dressing

TOOTSIE did run long, I'll say, but it was funny. The final and twelfth film I watched in the last two weeks was work-related, but I am so, so glad I got to see it. I am obsessed with the Nollywood phenomenon, partly because I'm Nigerian, and it was so cool to see it given a great portrayal. There probably will never be a film industry like Hollywood anywhere else in the world; it ain't gonna happen. But it's nice to see that in some parts of the world, that just doesn't matter. The best films are those that speak to our culture. The best films, like the best cookies, are homemade. So eat up indie and never get full.

NOLLYWOOD BABYLON (a documentary?!)
plot: Hark, the third-world Hollywood.
thought: Indie film is cool everywhere.
in five: 4/5
A few more home movies

So is the rental addiction over? There are just so many random movies--forget the AFI-recommended, IMDB top voted, Oscar winners, etc etc.--I have weird tastes. So I'm going to find a few more flicks to increase my cultural learnings to make benefit glorious mental film libraries of letop5. You are welcome, physically or electronically, to join me.

SWINGERS (rental)

plot: Heartbreak, cock-blocking, then some dancing.
thought: Vince Vaughn has defined bromance.
in five: 3.5/5

wanna jive?: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117802/

LITTLE CHILDREN (rental)

viewed: weds, 09 april 08

It's a drama. Dark and twisty. Stars the effervescent Kate Winslet and my "wow, you've got a good body" pick of the month, Patrick Wilson (you may remember him from ANGELS IN AMERICA--and if you don't, you most definitely SHOULD). Also stars a guy who delivers a very effective voice-over. Score by Thomas Newman.

plot: Suburbia is twisted, love difficult.
thought: Be suspicious of your neighbors.
in five: 4/5

the film: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Children_(film)
(Like how I just used wikipedia instead of imdb to site a movie?)

Multiple Discs in One Day

I spent all of Sunday (and the last of my money) at a hair salon. Secret about me, if you didn't know it, is that I'm black (though the website http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/ will try its damnedest to make you think otherwise). And black hair takes longer than white hair to get "did." Quite a bit longer. Eons longer.

So in between hours spent in agony beneath the pressure of a woman's chubby fingers gnawing a path across my scalp, I watched discs one, two and three of Jamie Foxx Presents America's Funniest Comics. I didn't pick the fare to be viewed, I just watched it to take my mind of the fact that I paid money to be tortured. They were funny enough (I'm choosing not the rate them). But the highlight of the afternoon surely came from the two features I saw before this Afro-American laugh factory took flight.

First was SOUL FOOD. Dude, I guess it's because I'm not Black American--or simply that I'm culturally insensitive--but I've yet to see BARBERSHOP or WAITING TO EXHALE or FRIDAY or FRIDAY AFTER NEXT (Or was it "LAST FRIDAY"???) or any other of these hosts of movies that feature all the black talent that Hollywood seems to have to offer. SOUL FOOD is one of them. It stars Vivica A. Fox...and some chicken dumplings...and some mac and cheese...and some collard greens.
plot: Family rekindles love through feasting.
thought: So THAT'S soul food? Noted.
in five: 3/5 for the unrealistic amounts of realistic family drama. And for the fact that I know a few more things about black American culture now. See, films TEACH you things. Education.
NOTE: I've seen HOW STELLA GOT HER GROOVE BACK. Watched that when I was too young to see that on TBS or something. Plus one point to me.

After SOUL FOOD wrapped, we moved onto another movie again featuring, though much more briefly, the actress Gina Ravera--who, might I haltingly suggest, at times *almost* resembles a black Angelina Jolie. In fact, I'll be honest, when she first hopped on the scene in SOUL FOOD, I thought they'd spray-painted Billy Bob's ex. I'm sure no one else will agree with me. But at any rate, this film, KISS THE GIRLS, also briefly co-stars my favorite buddy/best friend/Hollywood power agent co-star, Jeremy Piven. Who knew?
plot: Must solve female abduction mystery.
thought: Morgan Freeman is your best bet.
in five: 2/5 (Not because of Morgan. I love Morgan. But it was just...violent and hard to watch)

After the Black-American-Culture-themed afternoon (what, between seven hours of hair tugging and some Hell-to-the-Nah's from Jamie Foxx, preceded by a splash of Vivica A. and Morgan Freeman's soothing voice, yes, it was a cultural experience from which I emerged enlightened) I rushed home to, naturally, see another film. Why not? Settled down for dinner and a movie, eating some left-over thai from the cute, Zagat-rated joint I recently discovered right in my neighborhood: Tuk Tuk Thai Cafe ($8.95 lunch special on shrimp-only pad thai--way good!). I also baked some No Pudge brownies (8oz. of yogurt instead of the 6 the box's receipe calls for make them fudgier and hence more perfect in their tastiness). They disappeared from the plate thanks to me, the Flatmates and two Great Friends who came over to enjoy dinner and a movie with us. The flick of the evening? My "overlooked greatness" pick of 2007: ACROSS THE UNIVERSE
plot in long: The country's going to hell in a hand basket, and all I can do is sing about it.
thought in short: The Beatles are still relevant.
in five: 4.5/5
Beautiful!

THE FILMS:
Jamie Foxx - http://imdb.com/title/tt0465335/
Soul Food - http://imdb.com/title/tt0120169/
Kiss the Girls - http://imdb.com/title/tt0119468/
Across the Universe - http://www.sonypictures.com/homevideo/acrosstheuniverse/

I am my own Urban Dictionary

I'm coining a new word: poredom. Pronounced like "boredom," but of course with a "p," poredom is a noun. It is the state of being so poor one cannot afford to do anything, resulting in a state of slough-like boredom and, at times, abject misery.

Example of usage:
1. I'm suffering from poredom.
2. Sorry I can't make it out tonight; I'm heavy in poredom right now.
3. Dang, I just coughed up 195 bucks to settle an overdue parking ticket...looks like I'll be living in poredom 'til next paycheck.

Note 1: Though poredom is a state of being, one cannot "be" poredom (as one might "be" bored). Because then they'd just "be" poor. And though related, that's not the same thing.

Note 2: The writer of this blog is in poredom. What a great time to stay in and watch some movies (i.e., avoid driving and hence avoid paying upwards of $3.50 per gallon to fuel the auto).

The night before I realised I was in poredom (for sometimes, alas, it can sneak up on you), I trekked to SuperMall to see my "he's a cute kid" pick of the year, Anton Yelchin, in the Robert Downey Jr costarrer, CHARLIE BARTLETT. You may remember wee Anton as the unfortunate victim in the stellar sleeper ALPHA DOG, out last year. You won't really remember him from CHARLIE BARTLETT.
plot: Wannabe psychiatrist kid tells jokes.
thought: RD Jr. plays an alocholic!
in five: 2/5

Today, heavy in the throes of my current poredom, I double-featured an oldie and a not-that-new-but-never-seen-by-me movie. The first film was NETWORK, starring the rather thin husband-theif Faye Dunaway across from Robert Duvall. My, is he a charmer. And by "charmer," I mean "scorpion."
plot: Trash on TV; America goes crazy.
thought: This movie's writers were psychic!
in five: 4/5

Then I settled into a cute French film starring Charlotte Gainsbourg opposite her real-life husband Yvan Attal. The film, MA FEMME EST UNE ACTRICE (My Wife is an Actrice) is mostly funny because in real life, they're both actors! And successful ones at that. But as they say, reality doesn't always make good cinema; hence the Notting Hill-ish turn for the husband as a nobody dating The Somebody.
plot: Uh...oui...ma femme est une actrice.
thought: She's also cute as pie!
in five: 4/5

With that, excuse me while I return to my poredom.

THE FILMS
Charlie Bartlett - http://charliebartlett-themovie.com/
Network - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074958/
Ma Femme est une actrice - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0269499/

THE LANDING

And here we are about a month later, few movies added, but lots has changed. I said I wouldn't get preachy, but I must share the news: I've wandered again, and now I'm in a new city. The city has fire in the sky, and the movie theatres are expensive. But movies will be seen! Mark my words.

In the last month, I enjoyed viewing EASTERN PROMISES, starring the delicious Viggo MORTENSON. In five words or less?
Plot: "Russian mafia works in London."
Thought: "Naked never looked so violent."
It was good. It was...Cronenberg-y, but it was good. 3/5

I also finally saw my dear Quentin's first film RESERVOIR DOGS. Bought it for five bucks from...a discount store that I don't support. And it is fabulous.
Plot: "Irreverent deeds backdropped by catchy music." (is that six words? that's six)
Thought: "Enter, the new pulp genious."
4/5

After watching this film, all I could think was how great it would be to make a spoof of it, perhaps as a short film, or perhaps in a big kind of way with references from a bunch of Q-movies. I wanted to see Havey Keitel scream, "Bitch, we're gonna have a knife fight," while diving towards Rosario Dawson holding a suitcase filled with golden light. And apparently, it's already been done before: MY BIG FAT INDIE MOVIE. Haven't heard of it? You wouldn't have; it's artistic.
Plot: "The SCARY MOVIE of indie."
Thought: "Here's looking at you, Plot Devices."
2.5/5

While roadtripping across the US (en route to my new city), I stopped in a place we'll call "The Fertile Lowlands," to visit an old friend. She successfully found me the movie I was waiting for all summer long: KNOCKED UP. And it did not dissappoint.
Plot: "First comes baby, then love."
Thought: "There's no stopping Judd Apatow."
4.5/5

Besides these films, I sadly spent much of the month at a computer studying for an exam I took two days go. Yes, I kind of killed it. Like you had to ask. Now that I'm in my new Fire City, I'm done studying, and I'm starting to look for work. Once I find work, I'll be funded and able to watch many a movie. And since I recently won a 52" HDTV (jealous?) many of these movies just might be watched chez moi. Woop! Such is the life of a girl who lives off contest winnings. Let the adventure begin.

THE HIATUS

It's so sad, I've been gone so long, I've considered not coming back. You see, it's time I explain my hiatus. As my long-winded soujourn in France dwindled to a close and I began hopping from apartment to apartment like bees to flowers, I just didn't have the TIME to keep up with all the movies I was seeing. But movies, I did see.

I never intended for this blog to be one of those online "this is my life" journals, but my life entered a sort of upheavel at the end of July (leaving one apartment to house-sit in another, to vacation in another, to finally, eventually leave Paris), and I got more caught up in that than the meat of this blog, so I just quit writing. The blog was started for me to document the movies I'd seen, and my life was turning into a movie. So the question became : to write or not to write ?

Well, here I am. And I will write, still, about movies. My life is a little steadier now--I'm back in the US and planning my Westward journey to the land of milk & money, so I again have the time to write. Limited, but it's something I want to do. Movies make my world go round (is that cheesy ?), so I have the express desire to remember which movies I've seen, when and why. It's my ego. Blame my ego.

During my last two weeks living down the street from the Louvre (or "up" the street if you consider walking away from the Seine heading up--which you should, because that's north) and attending the #1 movie theatre in France, UGC Cine Cite Les Halles, I saw seven films.

1. HOT FUZZ - British cops against the neighborhoood. - 4/5 stars
2. HEAD ON (rental, German, otherwise known as GEGEN DIE WAND) - Love is a car wreck. - 4/5 stars
3. A VERY BRITISH GANGSTER - This gay, British thug's life. - 3/5 stars
4. YOU KILL ME - Sir Kingsley is Sir Awkward. - 2.5/5 stars
5. TRANSFORMERS - Mmm, I heart Shea LeBoeuf. - 3.5/5 stars
6. SIMPSONS - Like the show, but longer. - 3.5/5 stars
7. RAISON D'ETAT (otherwise knows as THE GOOD SHEPHERD) - Made sense the second time. - 3.5/5 stars

During the month of August while living two streets over from the Bastille (one of Paris' most historical and most night-party-friendly hotspots), I saw four films, most at UGC Bercy Village, a beautiful, new theatre off the lovely line 14 metro.

1. MISE A PRIX (otherwise known as SMOKIN ACES) - Good until the feel-good ending. - 2.5/5 stars
2. LES FANTOMES DE GOYA (otherwise known as GOYA'S GHOSTS) - Art shouldn't be this boring. - 2/5 stars
3. CARAMEL - Sticky and sweet, like life. - 4/5 stars
4. RATATOUILLE - Mmm, that rat made me hungry. - 4/5 stars

I saw one last film at the end of August, again at UGC Les Halles, because I was living in the Marais, the gay/Jewish district of Paris...meaning it's the cleanest, safest and has the best food. Excellent. The movie of choice :

1. 3 AMIS (look, a French film !) - Where are my French friends ? - 3.5/5 stars

And finally, since returning to the good ol' US of A (I've been here two weeks), I've seen three films, all in the Dallas area.

1. HAIRSPRAY - Song and dance on sugar high. - 3.5/5 stars
2. SUPERBAD - Wedding Crashers meets American Pie - 3/5stars (I really wanted to like it more...but it just was too over-hyped for me)
3. THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM - Hey, Bourne, ya done yet ? - 4/5 stars

I'm still wanting to catch KNOCKED UP and ACROSS THE UNIVERSE. Anyone know where I can find 'em ? Anyone ? Anyone ?

Now that I'm back in the States, the movie-watching is sure to slow down. I mean, in Paris, it was "gratuit" (that means "free"), and here...well, I have no job. Maybe I'll turn to Netflix, Greencine or Blockbuster.com. Who knows ? But I still love a good movie. So I'll be back.

CASINO ROYALE (rental)

http://www.casinoroyale.fr/
viewed 09 juillet 07

plot : This is how Bond began.
thought : Good action...but not Pierce Brosnan.

Overall rating : 3/5 as a "secret agent guy" movie, 2.5/5 as a Bond movie

LAST KISS (rental)

http://www.lastkissmovie.com/
viewed 09 juillet 07

plot : Just sewing some wild oats.
thought : Romantically light and rather realistic.

Overall rating : 3.5/5

INDECENT PROPOSAL (rental)

web site, hahahaha
plot : Demi Moore does it for money.
thought : IMDB user calls it "repugnant."

Overall rating : 2/5

BROKEN FLOWERS (rental)

viewed 17/06/07
http://www.brokenflowersmovie.com/home.html
plot : Driving around for paternity's sake.
thought : Boring with a capital "Bill Murray."
(I really like Bill Murray. I do. But why is he always looking so sad and wearing track suits these days ?)

Overall rating : 1.5/5

BAD GUY (rental)

viewed 14/06/07
http://www.badguythemovie.net/

plot : We hurt, love and die.
thought : Not so bad a guy.

Overall rating : 3/5

MONSTER'S BALL (rental)

viewed 13/06/07
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monster's_Ball
http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monster's_Ball

plot : Black woman under white man.
thought : But maybe there's another point.

Overall rating : 3.5/5

A SIMPLE PLAN (rental)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120324/
(no offical site available)
plot : Money makes you act stupid.
thought : Too unforunate to be entertaining.

Overall rating : 2.5/5