Girl's Best Friend: A Case of V-Day

**This article also appears on RopeofSilicon.com.**

She loves you; she loves you not. Isn't that the silent inquiry of the month? That, and what can you do to MAKE her love you? Roofies are out--that's not love. So is a trip to The Cheesecake Factory--they don't take reservations. You actually can't make her do anything; but if your lady is eying you softly, consider a movie to break the ice. Keep in mind not any movie will do. This is V-Day. Surrender all dignity at the ticket booth on behalf of your maybe-love. And once you do, let this be the one-stop guide to satisfying your girl’s best Valentine's (and helping the inner Cupid in you).

Chocolates, roses, flowers, a private jet, a spa massage. Though they're old standards, in today's economic climate, it's probably difficult to think of treating your lady to all of these. Well, if you can't afford to take her shopping, you can always just take her to see this week's new chick flick, Confessions of a Shopaholic.

Why she might want to see it: A vicarious NYC shopping spree coupled with the chance to vicariously date someone more British than you.

Why you might not: You don't "speak Prada," nor do you plan on taking a class to learn how.

The silver lining: Two hours of your V-Day love treatment are already resolved! No antibiotics required.

Tips for the untrained:
- This flick stars Borat's girlfriend, the feisty redhead from Wedding Crashers, Isla Fisher. Here, she seems to be acting with similar levels of feist, which invariably implies there will be moments of real humor...and moments of slight annoyance. Just prepare yourself. Also keep in mind that she embodies many of the eccentricities ladies try to keep under wraps, so for the most part, we kind of like her.
- Is it just me, or is it easy to confuse Isla Fisher with Amy Adams? I think I've spotted an emerging difference: this time of year, Adams goes critically acclaimed, Isla goes commercial, both tend to shoot and score. So yes, they do both have red hair. But unless you want to get depressed by seeing Doubt again, maybe don't dwell on it.
- If you missed He's Just Not that Into You last week (I'm banking you were dying to see it), consider a femme-friendly double feature this weekend. Then consider learning the differences between Prada and Old Navy.
- Since it is Valentine's, explore the opportunities you have to work this movie into an overall V-Day theme. Gift certificate to her favorite store? Take her dancing? Get her a new, bright pink laptop? Teach her how to use Google? Whatever you do, don't buy her Prada. Because if she likes what you buy...and she probably will...you will be battling the recession much longer than you think.

Valentine's may be a chocolate-coated, Hallmark-constructed phenomenon, but it's allure for men is still there. Whatever you do, however small, will get you noticed. If you're panicking about V-Day, maybe you should wonder why. Are you projecting the panic of your relationship against a calendar? Don't. Times are tough, and it's the simple things that count. Pair a single red rose with movie tickets and add a bottle of champs for good measure, and you're already on your way back from being mediocre just weeks before. Cook her dinner at home, and you've both impressed/amused her and saved yourself the prix-fixe fare at any of your local, upscale eateries.

If you are courting a lady who likes her movies like she likes her men (action-packed and with popcorn), you do have some other options this weekend, such as The International starring Clive Owen. Recall Clive's hotness, however, before you schedule that date. Taken with Liam Neeson is still enjoying favorable buzz, but if fluttering love is the theme du jour, perhaps consider Two Lovers, the Gwyneth Paltrow/Joaquin Phoenix picture that flutters into limited release just in time for you to wonder why you only have one lover. Above all, keep it stress free, and have fun. Chick flicks may be her best friend, but I bet she's into you, too.

Rent Your Face Off: two weeks, 11.5 movies

I've had comedy on the mind for some time now. And given the lack of good cinema fare, I decided to bring the cinema home to me. I mean, come on. My tv is the size of your mom before she "called Jenny." Bigger, even. And thus commenced the TiVo-tastic boob tube fest and Blockbuster rental-rama.

First up, an off-beat movie about cops. Or a cop movie about beating off? There is a lot of sexual innuendo enshrouded in the Reno Police force. You be the judge.

RENO 911: MIAMI
plot: Incompetent squad saves Miami Beach.
thought: Meow I wanna watch SUPER TROOPERS.
in five: 2.5/5
A little more Reno

Now, I know the show "Extras" isn't a movie, but I'd been dying to catch an episode for some time. Didn't get around to it until the season finale, and hey, it was two hours. So I'm counting it as half a movie.

EXTRAS: EXTRA SPECIAL SEASON FINALE
plot: Ricky Gervais gets cocky, loses dignity.
thought: Glimpse the natural Hollywood trajectory.
in five: 3.5/5
A few more extras

I liked the idea of the next movie (also a TiVo find), because I've never met a black guy who only dates white girls. Well, apparently, that man doesn't exist.

I'M THROUGH WITH WHITE GIRLS (THE INEVITABLE UNDOING OF JAY BROOKS)
plot: Black man dates black woman.
thought: There's no hope for interracials?
in five: 3/5
A little less biracial dating

I like Owen Wilson, and YOU, ME AND DUPREE was airing commercial-free. I don't like rom-coms, so I wasn't expecting to really like it...and I didn't...so there you go.

YOU, ME AND DUPREE
plot: Kate Hudson's husband thinks she's cheating (with co-star Owen Wilson).
thought: And we have to watch.
in five: 2/5
A little more Michael Douglas

Classic Jim Carrrey ahead! And isn't that his best stuff? I'm a mega-fan of TRUMAN SHOW, and I very much enjoyed FUN WITH DICK & JANE, but I think LIAR, LIAR is the movie--more than any of the Ace Ventura's--that explains why so many people would pay money to watch this guy contort his face and act the fool. He's over the top. He's a little annoying. But he's classic, comedy gold.

LIAR, LIAR
plot: A lawyer tries out honesty.
thought: Jim Carrey as a serious actor.
in five: 4/5
Full-length film on Hulu.com

Meant to catch IN BRUGES when it came out in theatres, so when my friend TiVo brought it over for movie night, I jumped at the chance. Colin Farrell does not disappoint. I want this film to win the Oscar for Original Screenplay.

IN BRUGES
plot: Hitman hides out in Lametown.
thought: Sweetly glorious in its simplicity.
in five: 4/5
A little more Belgium nightlife

Anthony Minghella was a very respected director, and I haven't been exposed much to his work. This is why I was thrilled to see THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY, which my friend Curly Beast counts as one of her favorite films. I liked it, but I wasn't prepared for where it went. And it left me with too many questions, the simplest being...why the heck didn't Mr. Ripley leave Europe to escape the mess he was in? No answers.

TALENTED MR. RIPLEY
plot: Matt Damon pales in comparison to Jude Law.
thought: See above.
in five: 3.5/5
A little more creepy time

After that darkness, I wanted something light, easy to handle. I'd heard that SHALLOW HAL was cuter than you might think years ago, and it fit the mood I was in. It was, of course, mildly ridiculous. And Jack Black hadn't quite found his big screen groove yet, I'd argue. But I saw where he was going, and I love him now. Go, Jack, go.

SHALLOW HAL
plot: Asshole unknowingly dates fat girl.
thought: Cuter than you might think.
in five: 3/5
A few more fat jokes

Another overlooked release from a few years back that ended up on the TiVo. It aired on the LOGO Network, which is a gay cable network I'd never watched before, but fast-forwarding through the commercials while leisurely taking in IMAGINE ME & YOU around 1am one weeknight, I've got one thing to say about LOGO: you look hilarious. I'm not in your demo, but I might just watch some of your shows anyway.

IMAGINE ME & YOU
plot: Closet lesbian discovers her vagina.
thought: Time to return wedding presents!
in five: 3/5
A little more lesbian love

Ohhhh Sacha Baron Cohen. You're too much. I love that he got so many lawsuits after making this movie, and I also love that he didn't break character once. Clutch move. Have you ever seen him as himself, like at an awards show? He's almost boring. That's a comedic gift.

BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN
plot: Faux-Kazakh man makes faux-documentary.
thought: Mocking America usually plays well.
in five: 3.5/5
A little more SBC craziness

I'd never even heard of TOOTSIE until about three months ago, but then suddenly, someone was bringing it up in conversation almost every five days. After some UCLA instructor told me I should see it, I finally said, "OKAY!" Had no clue what it was about. But turns out, that doesn't matter, because when a screenplay is well written, you get on board right away.

TOOTSIE
plot: Faux-woman becomes TV sensation.
thought: He's in drag...and it works.
in five: 3.5/5
A little more cross-dressing

TOOTSIE did run long, I'll say, but it was funny. The final and twelfth film I watched in the last two weeks was work-related, but I am so, so glad I got to see it. I am obsessed with the Nollywood phenomenon, partly because I'm Nigerian, and it was so cool to see it given a great portrayal. There probably will never be a film industry like Hollywood anywhere else in the world; it ain't gonna happen. But it's nice to see that in some parts of the world, that just doesn't matter. The best films are those that speak to our culture. The best films, like the best cookies, are homemade. So eat up indie and never get full.

NOLLYWOOD BABYLON (a documentary?!)
plot: Hark, the third-world Hollywood.
thought: Indie film is cool everywhere.
in five: 4/5
A few more home movies

So is the rental addiction over? There are just so many random movies--forget the AFI-recommended, IMDB top voted, Oscar winners, etc etc.--I have weird tastes. So I'm going to find a few more flicks to increase my cultural learnings to make benefit glorious mental film libraries of letop5. You are welcome, physically or electronically, to join me.

Messob Ethiopian Restaurant | dinner

True to my word, I have given Ethiopian food a second chance. And I have to say, apparently, the restaurant I tried the first time around was not the best Ethiopian Restaurant in Little Ethiopia, the street-long, East African culture bubble in central Fire City. Nyala was good, but Messob, my Ethiopian round two, was great.

It was work that brought me there, I must admit. I've always been one to spend money on a new place than go back to one I was only half keen on, so I suggested Messob, and luckily the boss had heard good things. The injera (sourdough-like flappy bread) was fluffier, the spices much more resonant, and we ordered trout...and they brought a whole trout. Like with the head, and I had to slice it. Fun! And delicious.

After Messob, I can say, confidently, that I like Ethiopian food. And I don't mean to fault Nyala too much; I think when I went there, I didn't know what to expect at all, so my palate wasn't ripe for assessment, too confused by curiosity to levy any proper critique. I think Nyala is good; I just think Messob is better. And I definitely hope to go back! Care to join me?

the spot: Messob Ethiopian Restaurant | (323) 938-8827
the thought: 4/5
to try: honey wine! tastes like nectar of the slightly alcoholic gods

use your hands: http://www.messob.com/

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

Well, of course after writing about it, I wanted to see it! Surprised? If you know me--and if you're reading this, I think you know me a l'il bit--then you know that I hate most, if not all, romantic comedies, so personally, I'm not surprised that you're surprised. Well, listen--more surprise!--I actually liked it. And here's why:

FIVE REASONS WHY LETOP5 WAS KIND OF INTO 'HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU':
1. The Cast. Come on, you've got Connelly, Connolly, Cooper, Barrymore, Affleck, Aniston, Goodwin, Long and even that other one...what's her name...Johansson? That's a pretty solid group of familiar faces. Sure, none of them really, independently, appear in movies I want to see...but when you put them all together, my Intrigue Meter picks up on it.

2. The Plot Potential. I wanted, and for the most part (not the whole part) got, a tale telling women to stop it with the antics and calm the frak down. If a movie is focusing on disillusion-ing the over-illusional girl, then I'm all for it. Maybe he was busy, maybe he will be traveling, maybe he did miss your call/lose your number/mean what he said/etc etc. But if he did...and it's a week later...you'd know by now. Good grief.

3. The Unrelatability. That might seem odd. But I was half-hopeful, half-scared that along the course of this film, I would see myself in some of the female characters. Like I would go, "That is so me," and "Dear God in heaven above, I do that exact, revolting thing," and then realise, in the course of two hours at a dingy AMC, that I'm a social pariah. But after seeing the movie...I'm so glad neither of those thoughts ever made their way into my over-sized head. Each woman in this film, except perhaps Scarlett Johansson's cheating ass, is an extreme caricature of how most women really act. Ginnifer Goodwin plays the most ridiculous of all: the unfortunate, needy, obsessively opportunistic, depressingly desperate single girl. Everything she did, I could judge--and judge, I did. So did most of the theatre. She was the extreme case of what a dating woman should strive NOT to be, and it felt pretty good that I couldn't relate to that. That being said, I did hands-down relate to Drew Barrymore's character having a gaggle of gay friends. But no MySpace video chat for me, thank you.

4. The Viewing Experience. As stated above, the movie theatre crowd did not hold back from the "oohs" and "ahhs" and "no, he didn'ts" during my viewing experience. That was pretty cool. I think this is what critics claimed happened during mass viewings of MAMMA MIA, but I wouldn't know, I was too busy puking at the screen to notice. During HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU, hardly anyone was too timid about sharing their thoughts about any of these women--and then men they chose or didn't choose. I learned a few things, too, like: (a)cargo pants can be sweet and sexy; (b)few people forgive a cheater; (c)women are more critical of other women than of men; (d)who doesn't love gay friends?; (e)who isn't suspicious of myspace?; (f)I'm not the only one who thinks Justin Long is H-O-T-T, hott.

5. The Men. From Justin "ooh-la-la" Long to Kevin "cuter than cupcakes--and just as tiny" Connolly, it was a good night for man-watching. And usually I don't find Ben Affleck remotely attractive--I've always preferred Casey--but he was endearing in this film, and the relationship between he and Jennifer Aniston's character worked, for once, not because of her believability as an actress, but because of his. He kinda won me over. Furthermore, though he is our douchebag non-grata, from the minute Bradley Cooper stepped on screen, women definitely went into "hubba hubba" mode. And with Scarlett Johanssen rehashing her role as "transient femme fatale with marriage-destroying abilities" (re: MATCH POINT, VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA, IN GOOD COMPANY, GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING, LOST IN TRANSLATION, THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL...really, she's a one-trick poney), and all the other women acting three types of crazy, it was nice to be anchored in by some good guys. Congrats, gentleman: a romantic comedy that doesn't make you look like unrealistic, emasculated weenies.

The final message of HJNTIY is a little weak, I'll admit--"Keep hoping, and eventually you'll find that special someone?" Please. Puh-leeeze.--but the path to that message was a pretty funny ride. Now I won't say I've been converted to the lovey-dovey movie fold, but hey, you can't always judge a book by its cover. Though, apparently, you can judge a man by his lack of a phone call. Noted.

plot: Both sexes drown in mixed signals.
thought: Does drowning usually finish well?
in five: 3.5/5

get into it: http://www.hesjustnotthatintoyoumovie.com/

FROZEN RIVER

Continuing the trend of late updates: I saw FROZEN RIVER, written by the Oscar-nominated Courtney Hunt and starring the Oscar-nominated Melissa Leo. I saw it last Sunday at a special screening the morning before the most-watched Superbowl in Superbowl history. And then I watched the Superbowl and got to see Bruce Springsteen do a crotch-slide into Camera 2 on the edge of his halftime stage. What a class act; I wonder how quickly that went up on YouTube.

Anyway--back to the icy gorge. In short, Oscar season has been one thick, depressing stew of tear-jerky, emotional, "character" films, and though FROZEN RIVER, in essence, wasn't much different, it did at least offer a bit of lightness within the lingering misery. Focusing on a mother living in upstate New York raising her two boys in a trailer home, FROZEN RIVER is a story about family and keeping it together. Our story's star, Ray, played wonderfully and, you know, tear-jerkily, by Leo, is married to an absent deadbeat with more than a bit of a gambling problem. Though this Daddy Do-Wrong is somehow still a hero in the eyes of Ray's eldest son, TJ (Charlie McDermott: rising star), it's Ray who's left with the mess of keeping the family together, emotionally and monetarily, in his absence.

The film's a hard-hitting piece that just might make you question the lengths to which you would go in order to maintain, even in the barest degree, some minimum of your lifestyle. Considering these harsh economic times, it's not off-base at all. So...would you smuggle in illegal immigrants from Canada so you could afford Christmas presents for your kids? Let's hope you never have to ask yourself that, eh?

Highlights of this film include every scene with the two sons. That James Reilly is the cutest!

plot: Penniless parent gains questionable employment.
thought: Worst-case scenario...times ten.
in five: 4/5

ford the river: http://www.sonyclassics.com/frozenriver/

Girl's Best Friend: He's Just Not that Into You

**This article also appears on RopeofSilicon.com.**

The month of love has arrived. And with it comes the pressure to romance with style, woo with ease. But listen, don't let it overwhelm you. The magic of February is that you have a "get out of jail free" day: February 14th. That means you have thirteen days to screw up and then stylishly make up for it--or fourteen days to get it wrong after the fact and always refer back. No matter which scenario takes place, however, she will tell her friends about it, so getting it right more than once is in your favor. For the other weekends this month, then, here is the weekly, one-stop guide to your girl’s best friend (and the inner girl in you).

Did you even have to ask? If you know any girls at all, you know they've been talking about this week's movie since it first premiered in name only on an episode of "Sex and the City." He's Just Not that into You features more famous faces than you'd expect in an Oscar contender (but a fraction of the plot). It's the American Love Actually, and whether it's good or goosh, it's guaranteed to do gangbusters at the cinema.

Why she might want to see it: So she can figure out if you're just not that into her. It'll be like watching a magician reveal his secrets!

Why you might not: All the mystery of your nonchalant neglect exposed? By Ben Affleck and his "bros"? It seems unfair.

The silver lining: You'll no longer have to make excuses when you don't want to hang out. "Dinner with your parents? Can't make it, 'cause I'm just not that into it." She'll definitely, totally, always, completely understand and respect your decision.

Tips for the untrained:
- He's Just Not That Into You the film is based on He's Just Not That Into You the book, which for all intents and purposes is a self-help guide for all repeat rejectards who think "Don't call me," means "I'll call you." Want to learn a bit about the female dating psyche before you head to the cinema? Pick up the book at your local Borders or Barnes & Noble--that is, if they haven't gone out of business yet--and give it a look-see. Then cry, because what's in there doesn't just apply to women. Have you been rejected, too? Let it out. Only a small handful of shoppers will be listening.

- At 129 minutes, He Kinda Never Liked You runs a little long. It may be laughy, but it also might be torture. Prepare yourself for the latter by setting your cell phone on vibrate and putting a timer on for an hour. You don't want to be the boyfriend who keeps checking his watch, so slide that sucker in your pocket, on the side away from the lady. Timer rings, you're about halfway through. Not too bad, right?

- I don't really want to suggest a theme night for this movie. Something about the probable dissection of dating during the film makes me think that perhaps you should cut the night short. Dinner first, then the movie--no need for prolonged conversation after the fact. And no matter what you think of it, be wise about expressing those thoughts. It isn't worth revealing that you now realise you're a tool and have been emasculated. If she absolutely loved it, you thought it was "good." If she hated it, you thought it was "okay." And if she says she'll call you...don't hold your breath.

- As mentioned above, the cast of He Actually Was Trying to Pick Up Your Friend is a bit ridiculous. Jennifer Aniston, Ginnifer Goodwin, Jennifer Connelly, Kevin Connolly, Ben Affleck, Drew Barrymore, Justin Long...and Busy Phillips, Scarlett Johansson, Bradley Cooper. Did they owe someone a favor? Is this the result of a bet? Are Jennifer and Kevin Connolly related? Is "Ginnifer" really an acceptable spelling of "Jennifer"? All great questions. Most will likely go unanswered during this film, so if you're really curious, do your legwork. But according to an interview with producer Drew Barrymore, all the actors above committed to the work because of the message and the writing. That's right, the writing. Clearly, she's trying to sell it, but that should make you a wee bit hopeful for a a few nice laughs. You wouldn't figure Drew for a liar, right?

If for some reason He Was Drunk, It Was Late, What Do You Expect? is not anything like something your partner would want to watch, you do have some other options for romantic bonding. Pink Panther 2? Just kidding--Steve Martin is classic funny, but you can catch that on DVD.

The fantastically animated Coraline and the Yoda-loving Fanboys both hit the cineplex this weekend, as does Push, a fantasy action/adventure that hails the return of Dakota Fanning following "the awkward years." In fact, it's a good weekend for popcorn flicks, wouldn't you say? Between Doubt, Rev Road, The Reader and Frozen River, this Awards Season has been downright depressing. Here's hope that we'll all be at least a little bit into what's in store for spring.

Overlooked Greatness: 'Bottle Rocket' (1996)

**This article also appears on RopeofSilicon.com.**

"Bob's gone! He stole his car!"

Have you ever been separated from your friends or family at the supermarket and had to be summoned via overhead speaker, because "your party" was waiting for you? You duck your head, pretending it isn't you, pretending you just wanted to saunter to the front of the store at just that moment. But you know they know. Everyone knows. Why did you leave your cell phone in the car?

Well, if you had seen today's overlooked classic, the Wes Anderson-Owen Wilson-Luke Wilson cherry-popper, Bottle Rocket, you could have spared yourself the shame of hearing your name mispronounced on that Whole Foods loudspeaker. Because then, had you been faced with flaxseed on your right, quinoa on your left and friends nowhere around you, you would have known the solution. Just call out, "Ca-CAW, ca-CAW!" Your friends, who in this scenario are no less classy than you, will find you just fine.

The magically quotable moments of this offbeat buddy caper begin with birdcalls and don't end until the credits roll. As Rope of Silicon has noticed before, Bottle Rocket is a classic. Based on the Sundance short film of the same name, also starring the AWW trio (that's Anderson, Wilson and Wilson), the feature-length Bottle Rocket showcases these three dark comedy pros at their finest. And I like The Royal Tenenbaums as much as most Anderson fans do -- "That's a trick; you don't have a middle name." -- but I'll argue now why the best of Anderson may very well have been his first attempt. Though if you're not an Anderson fan, know this: Bottle Rocket is not like Anderson's later works. Yes, still co-written by Owen; yes, still technically a commercial failure; yes, still placing his muses in their best light; but trust, their light is one you should gladly stare into, even may your retina burn and burn.

1.) Character names: The names a writer picks for his or her principal characters say a lot. And sometimes they carefully say nothing at all. Look out: Owen plays Dignan. Robert Musgrave plays a guy named Bob. Owen's older brother Andrew plays a guy who goes by the name Future Man -- no explanation. James Caan plays Mr. Henry -- no first name. And Luke plays Anthony Adams, whose last name is akin to the first man on Earth. These names are great, as they carefully set the scene for what's to come. Dignan is unusual, original and yet always trying to stand out; Bob is nondescript and kind of useless, described early on by Dignan as "the zero out in the car." Future Man is threatening; Mr. Henry is a drifter; and Anthony Adams is the Beta-male disguised in Alpha packaging. We'd get it if they didn't say anything. But luckily, they exchange witty dialogue with the sharp repartee that only comes when friends conspire together. Aww... that's so sweet.

2.) The cast: It's the first reason to roll with any indie film whose plot can't easily be explained without grazing a lot of the life out of the story. For instance, on the surface, Napoleon Dynamite could be described as a "slice of life tale about a nerdy teenager who tries to help his equally awkward friend run for class president." Sure, that's it. But who would Napoleon have been had he not been played by Jon Heder? So it is with Bottle Rocket, a film in which, at the time of its making, contained no known names except James Caan, who by this time, had already had three wives, if that says anything. Luke and Owen together are a great comedic balance that I wish happened more often. Throw in another Wilson brother and a guy with worse hair than all three Wilsons combined (that'd be Robert Musgrave as Bob), and you've got greatness. Wouldn't you figure that buddies making movies together make some of the finest weird films? Hence, Nappy D with Heder and homies, the upcoming Mystery Team featuring Derrick Comedy, and today's OG, Bottle Rocket.

3.) Nonsensical plot: "Some friends try to do some robbing and fail repeatedly." That might be the meat of Bottle Rocket, but as intimated above, it does zap a bit of the life from the story. Even to say Bottle Rocket is a comedy isn't enough. With every plot turn, whether it's surprising or predicted, we get a quotable moment written (or ad-libbed) by Anderson and O.Wilson to sum up the action. They rob a house -- and it's Anthony's parents' house. They steal some money -- and they're stealing from a neighborhood bookstore. They plan a big heist -- and they actually think they can accomplish it during lunch, in broad daylight, wearing yellow jumpsuits. It's an hilarious mélange of mixed up scenarios that, with one element changed, would seem utterly normal but, twisted how they are, are uproariously funny. And I'm not talking the funny that you see on the screen, necessarily -- this is funny that you feel. Your brain gets happier with each repeated viewing as you realize things you missed the time before and how the story stayed good anyway. It's one of those films you've got to see in order to understand its layers.

4.) Un-annoying romantic subplot: Another favorite comedy of mine, Wedding Crashers, also stars Owen Wilson. It's f'ing ridiculous good fun. Great dialogue, great characters, great premise, all. But the first half of the film feels surprisingly more upbeat than the latter half, and here's why: Crashers got "romanced." True, almost every film featuring a cast of crass men needs a romantic subplot, for whatever reason (To humanize the men? To anchor in some ladies? To make me roll my eyes?), but problems can occur when that thread takes over the whole quilt. The brilliant nature of Bottle Rocket is that the romance between L.Wilson's character, Anthony, and a motel maid, Inez, remains a subplot. In some ways it is crucial to Anthony's development, but we get the sense he would have been fine with out her. Hence, while Crashers crossed from buddy comedy to romantic comedy, Bottle Rocket retains its bromance angle -- without drowning in testosterone.

5.) Strong finish: There's a moment, a distinct one, in Bottle Rocket, where mentally, with a heavy dose of emotion, I always say, "I... love... this... movie." It's the last two minutes. Dignan walks away from Anthony and Bob, casting a wistful look, leaden with gravitas, over his shoulder, and I'm hit. The music swells, the image slows; I can't look away. There he is, I think. There is Owen Wilson, exposed. I think good movies reveal not only the intent of the writer or the director, but also the intents of the actors -- they're the ones portraying the characters, after all. And when you've got the right actor for the part -- or in this case, when the actor actually wrote most of the part -- a character can take on depth you wouldn't believe. Bottle Rocket may now be a goofy, Saturday afternoon movie to watch between rounds of pot brownies and beer, but in its finish, it becomes a little bit more. Maybe that's why Martin Scorsese names it as one of his top ten films of the nineties. Well, Marty (may I call you that?), so do I.

I don't intend to wax too meta, but the Bottle Rocket story arc in some ways actually parallels the lives and careers of its main stars. The first small caper the men try, they essentially succeed at -- though it was a small job robbing a relative's house. The second is their big win. And after that come mistakes and missteps, Bob as the zero out in the car, some crossed attempts at love, then Dignan contemplating the irony of their story: he was able to save Anthony at the nut house, but now he can't escape the clink. Replace "nut house" with "box office," and "the clink" with "depression," and you'll see where I'm going. This movie is an ode to Owen Wilson, that quirky, secretly nerdy comic, that Beta-male in Alpha-male packaging who keeps on trying to get it right. Well, you got it right, Mr. Wilson. You already got it right.