Girl's Best Friend: A Post-Madea America

**This article also appears on RopeofSilicon.com.**

Weren't the Oscars grand? All that song and dance just made you feel like a kid again. Hugh Jackman's opening number also probably reminded you that you never saw The Reader. Well, let me save you the trouble: the film wasn't re-writing history. What you expected should happen at the end of the Nuremberg Trials is exactly what happens. Supwise! So it's officially time to move into the lighter fare of springtime. Whether your lady wants to see Jonas Brothers: the 3D Concert Experience or rent HSM3 (both are STELLAR options), let this be the one-stop guide to discovering The Chick Flick: your girl’s best friend (and the window to the inner girl in you).

The title of this week's post might be a bit misleading. I'm not writing much about Madea, despite the fact that she probably deserves to go to jail by now. What I will reflect on briefly, however, is the fact that, despite the huge success of Tyler Perry's admittedly puerile films, Hollywood is still systematically disconnected from awareness of the draw of the ethnic audience. Word on the street is that Perry is now making plans to take his franchise global. So we're no more in a post-Medea America than we are in a post-racial America, despite the fact that Barack Obama is king.

But separate from the Madea franchise, there is, historically, some great girl cinema with predominantly colored casts. What happened to the days of Waiting to Exhale (which hey, I didn't know at the time, was directed by Forest Whitaker) and What's Love Got to Do with It? And remember How Stella Got Her Groove Back? (A lot of sex with Taye Diggs, that's how!) Now, it's been re-made by Lifetime with Heather Locklear seducing a--supwise--young, white man (the delicious Robert Buckley), and it's called Flirting with Forty. I'm pretty sure it has aired every weekend since it's December release date. Apparently, a lot of women want to flirt once they're forty. But...come on, why the whitening treatment?

This all, in case you were wondering, is coming off the heels of my belated realisation that He's Just Not That Into Monogamy, my GBF from three weeks ago, boasted some starkly uni-color casting, give or take a couple gay men and chatty interview women. I kind of assumed the film was attempting to be representative of the spectrum of modern dating experiences in America...and perhaps I was giving it too much credit there...but having actually quite enjoyed the film, I now am left wondering: Where are the interracial relationships? Why no Blasian babies?

In revolt against this ever-expanding romcom norm, therefore, I'd like you and your lover to consider re-visiting some ethnically and culturally colored romantic classics of the recent past. Beyond the three I've listed above, please consider the following rentals:

VOLVER (2006)
Why I'm recommending it: Single, strong-willed, Spanish females.
What you'll say recommends it:
- Pedro Almodovar directed it.
- Penelope was nominated for a Best Actress Oscar for her role in this film.
- The entire female cast won the Best Actress award at the Cannes Film Festival.
- You don't watch enough films with subtitles these days.
What you might really be thinking: Penelope is hot.
What your girl might be thinking: Penelope is hot.

HITCH (2005)
Why I'm recommending it: Look at that; a bi-racial couple.
What you'll say recommends it:
- It's kind of the guy's version of He's Just Not That Into (Talking to) You
- #1 performing box-office romantic comedy of 2005.
- It's a Will Smith movie, and it can't be any worse than Wild, Wild West.
What you might really be thinking: Eva Mendes!
What your girl might be thinking: You could use some dating training.

LOVE & BASKETBALL (2000)
Why I'm recommending it: Sports + sex; what's not to love?
What you'll say recommends it:
- Sports + sex; what's not to love?
- It's better than Something New (sorry, Simon Baker), but it still has Sanaa Lathan.
What you might really be thinking: Window into the pro-basketball possibilities you failed to pursue early in life.
What your girl might be thinking: Yeah, right.

L'AUBERGE ESPAGNOLE (2002)
Why I'm recommending it: A stew of European young adults living the good life.
What you'll say recommends it:
- Cedric Klapisch is a phenomenal director. Romain Duris is a great actor.
- Audrey Tautou is in it. Remember her? From Amelie?
- Again, a +1 to your effort to enjoy reading subtitles.
- The entire film is a metaphor for the formation of the European Union, so it's almost like a history lesson. And it is, in fact, an apt look at European education, careers and the crooked path it takes to get through either.
What you might really be thinking: Audrey Tautou-la-la.
What your girl might be thinking: New summer plan: vacation to Barcelona!

IMAGINE ME & YOU (2005)
Why I'm recommending it: Lovely little lesbian love story (ack! over-kill on the alliteration...), despite the lack of an ethnically diverse cast.
What you'll say recommends it:
- 10th highest grossing rom-com of 2006, for what that's worth.
- Features Piper Parabo doing a fantastic British accent. Features Matthew Goode being a fantastic British man.
- It's not easy coming out...and there's something you've been meaning to tell her....
What you might really be thinking: Don't see nearly enough lesbians on the HDTV these days.
What your girl might be thinking: Yeah, right.

WHY DID I GET MARRIED?
Why I'm recommending it: Since Tyler Perry was my tipping point, thought I should offer something he did...and until the most recent Madea Goes to Jail, this was his best-performing film.
What you'll say recommends it:
- The only two rom-coms that outpaced it in 2007 were Knocked Up and Enchanted, and you already saw both of those (thus becoming, to this day, a lovable mix of McDreamy and Seth Rogen).
- Based on Tyler Perry's stage play of the same name. Love the theatre, but a DVD is easier to bring home with you.
- Addresses a very key relationship question.
What you might really be thinking: Hopefully will answer said question, for the sake of your future relationship(s).
What your girl might be thinking: Are you trying to tell her something?

You know what I notice? Quite simply, as evidenced by HJNTIY, many films before it, and even some of the choices I've listed above, most romantic comedies are more than a little "uni-colored." It is reflective of America, where most couples are still of the same demographic, be that racial, social, monetary, ethnic or religious. I live in a city, so I see more mixing around me, but let's face it--we're usually attracted to those that look like us. Romantic comedies display that. And except for movie stars like Will Smith or, I suppose, Simon Baker, who have managed to cross the color line, most audiences don't want to see mainstream mixing. Why hasn't that changed? Clearly, the need for Madea has not yet diminished.

Well, at any rate, should you pick one of these GBF's to watch this weekend, let me know your thoughts. And if you have other mainstream movies (or those of the wide-released-via-art house persuasion) that you feel have Will Smith'd the big screen, let me know. I'm curious.

Hugh Jackman hosting the Oscars

GREAT SUCCESS.



THR liked you, too.

Good show. I guessed 19/24 categories right, which is an all-time high...but I did not win my Oscar pool. Who invited that clown who guessed 22/24?!

Oh wait. I did.

Sunday night was grand. The empty champagne bottles in my trunk prove it.

THE INTERNATIONAL

Yeah.

It's true.

Clive Owen? He's still hot. Don't act so surprised.

In THE INTERNATIONAL, Mr. Owen plays the part of Louis Salinger, a questionable agent with a questionable past who wants to bring down the largest international bank. Motive? Questionable activity. But really, that's not the point. If you're watching THE INTERNATIONAL, you're clearly in it for the ride, not the destination; the pacing matters much more than the plot. And there, THE INTERNATIONAL shines.

Tight with an accelerated feel aided by a stylishly emotive score, the pulse of this film is its most alluring feature. The soundtrack supports every scene, and even though one might kind of notice a plot hole or two (for instance, how did Salinger get as far as he's gotten in his investigation without any attempts on his life?), for the most part, the score anchors the action so that everything happening does more or less feel right.

Now, there is a bit off about THE INTERNATIONAL. It's a movie about international banking while most of the world economy is in a recession. It's also a bank thriller where no money actually changes hands. On top of that, it's a movie about bringing down a bank whose lead character spends a lot of money traveling internationally and destroying a lot of expensive things. But hey, let's move past those things temporarily so we can take a long, lingering look at Clive.

More troubled than in movies past, Clive Owen's sporting a fixedly brooding expression that makes his face look like it's been beat with a sexy stick, so clearly, despite his lackluster duo of emotional levels (he can show you "intense" or--wait for it--"intenser"), Owen obviously steals the show. Naomi Watts is sadly just there for filler. Owen's dark gaze is set to "high smolder," and caught up in the smolderyness of it all, you really, really want him to bring this bank down.

But that's one man attempting the impossible. Hate to spoil it for you (if wikipedia hasn't already, that is), but in battles with big business, big business usually wins. Even when some other guy wins, big business wins. How do I figure? Because big business runs shit. And that other guy? He's a little shit. So guess what? Big business runs that other guy.

Clive Owen's character, Louis Salinger, is "that other guy." He works for Interpol (The International Criminal Police Organization), which basically is the world police. They stop people your local sheriff doesn't know about. But they can only move as wide or aim as high as the worldwide corruption of the justice system will allow them to go. And alas, Salinger just doesn't get it. The final showdown between Salinger and the CEO of the fictional International Bank of Business and Credit (played cockily by Ulrich Thomsen) finally impresses upon Salinger his "little shit" status. You can chase, you can fight, you can investigate and hack away at the evidence as much as you want. But cut one arm off, Sali, and it'll grow right back. 'Cause that's how big banks roll.

It's a little...underwhelming to note that as the key takeaway from the film--not because we can't handle the truth, but because we get the sense that Salinger can't. It felt like all this intensity was building and building--and ultimately it was for nothing. Salinger, naive and alone, has driven all his energy into this single quest. And for what? For me to eat stale popcorn and wonder if his eyes are naturally that blue? Fine. Great success. But next time I want to see Clive Owen looking volatile and depressed, I think I'll just watch KING ARTHUR. Can't say no to chain mail.

plot: One man against the bank.
thought: Can I get cash back?
in five: 2.5/5

recess THIS!: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/theinternational/site/

Overlooked Greatness: 'American Outlaws' (2001)

**This article also appears on RopeofSilicon.com.**

I can guess what you must be thinking. A cowboy movie? With Colin Farrell? Yes, you’re right. It was an unknown Irishman playing a classic American cowboy—and Jesse James, to boot. It’s everything wrong, and perhaps that’s why, seven years ago when I first heard about it, I was immediately intrigued.

Unless watching gay cowboys who are in love with each other, I’ve never been that much of a Western fan. I’m not saying that to immediately discredit any words I might share about this particular Western (though that might be the result). I’m saying it, in fact, to bolster the film’s credibility. It didn’t spin itself as an historical drama. It’s a popcorn flick with some horses thrown in, and if you think of it that way, you’re already saddled up for a smoother ride. But if you need further convincing, hopefully that’s where the following Five Factors of Greatness come in.

1. Colin Farrell: We know the Hollywood Talent Trajectory™ by now: Early Speculation of Star Status leads to Quagmire of Cocaine, which leads to 100 Years of Solitude, which leads to Awesome Phoenix-Like Rebirth. Note those who spun out early (River Phoenix) and those who have finished the journey (Mickey Rourke). Having just won a Golden Globe for his wonderful portrayal of a hitman with heart in the BAFTA Award-winning In Bruges, Farrell has come out of the quagmire of cocaine and is on his way back to potential Phoenix Status. And I’ll argue that American Outlaws, Farrell’s second American film, was a hint to the masses about what was in store. Though it might be a stretch to say he was “discovered” thanks to this film (he did act for Schumacher a year prior in Tigerland), it definitely helped put him on the HTT ™ and defined him as a heartthrob to watch. In Outlaws we get to see Farrell act two roles: swashbuckling ne’er do well and hopeless romantic. It’s sweet, endearing, youthful and exciting. Someone else might have made more sense for a Jesse James, but Farrell made this Jesse James all his. (And as an aside: Kathy Bates plays his mom. Love her.)

2. Dialogue: There are some truly great lines in this film. From “Hey! You wanna die?” to “It’s going to be a long [insert season],” Outlaws always makes me smile. It is memorably quotable, and the only reason people don’t think about the dialogue’s repeatability is—well, there are two reasons. One, not enough people have seen this movie, and two, when it isn’t Will Ferrell-funny or Meryl Streep-dramatic, less people care to play along. I know quotes from small films like Napoleon Dynamite or Juno have eked through, thanks to the portrayal of the offbeat American family behaving in an offbeat way, so there’s got to be room for an offbeat American western in our memories somewhere. Right? I love “This is one doodle that can’t be undid, Home Skillet” (Juno), just as much as I love, “Younger-James gang? Is there an older James gang?” And that’s why I watch and re-watch this movie every year. The quotes never get old, and the fun never wanes.

3. Robin Hood factor: The heart of this Jesse James story is simple. When the railroad company tries to shoulder its way through his family’s homestead, Jesse and his band unite to bring them down, one bank at a time, while providing their neighbors with both physical and financial security. In short, he and his posse steal from the rich and give to the poor. Well, there’s something about stickin’ it to the Man that always makes for a winning plotline. We like the underdog (or the “slumdog,” if you will), the upstart, the gangster with a heart of gold. And you can’t help but root for him in his quest—especially if he’s got a face like Colin Farrell.

4. Butchering of history for entertainment’s sake: Like I mentioned before, Outlaws never intended—or at least I hope it didn’t intend—to be an historical drama. It is neither a history lesson nor a biopic. Who knows if it got the Jesse James and the Younger Brothers’ story right? I’m going to assume it did, pop some popcorn, and move on with my movie night. It’s this same ability to ignore the details in favor of some amusement that lets us enjoy Shakespeare in Love (another perennial favorite of mine). And though, clearly, Shakespeare is the “better” film, both that film and this one operate with the same premise: get the basics down, and then have a laugh. If you like a bit (or a lot) of cheese with your popcorn, Outlaws will taste just right.

5. The tagline and the trailer. They are both seriously so bad, the film just has to be good. Now, obviously when I say “good,” I don’t mean Amistad-good. But in its own, wonky way, American Outlaws is great, and both the tagline and trailer tell you why. With all the guns and action, Outlaws channels more than a bit of 1988’s Young Guns but it uses one-too-many Moby songs (i.e., one) to get to this point. Watch the trailer, and you won’t be able to figure out if you’re in post-Civil War America or in 2001: A Musical Odyssey, in which the members of the band Saliva decide to become cowboy bank robbers. But filter your confusion towards the tagline of the film: “Bad is Good Again.” Um…that says it all. Outlaws doesn’t take itself seriously, and that’s its strength. Bad is good again. And I’m watching.

I think the leading fault of American Outlaws is that it doesn’t quite embrace a genre. Above, I referred to it as an “offbeat American Western,” but that’s not entirely how it sold itself. Outlaws tight-roped between offbeat and ordinary, and there was its undoing. It wasn’t quite clear if viewers should take the film seriously or not. Was it a true telling of the legend of Jesse James? Was it a farcical remake of an American tall tale? Or was it just another shoot-‘em-up comedy with some famous names haphazardly thrown in? Unwilling to pick sides, Outlaws alienated most critics and viewers alike, succumbing to meager box office receipts and thus, obscurity.

But to this day, American Outlaws is the most watched film I own in my DVD collection. Perhaps that’s a little weird. But that’s not to say it’s my favorite film; it just never really gets old to me. Every time Scott Caan shouts, “Let’s ride!” I get into it all over again. It is familiar and fantastic, and it’s truly so bad it gets better every time.

I am my own Urban Dictionary V

Term: class up

Definition 1: To make classy

Definition 2: To take on the attributes of a social or monetary status higher than your own, at times by way of unnecessary embellishments.

Examples of usage:
1. I like how you classed up your office with those Andy Warhol posters.
2. Mitch tried to class-up his 2001 Sebring by adding nice rims, but alas, he should have just bought a cooler car.

Girl's Best Friend: A Case of V-Day

**This article also appears on RopeofSilicon.com.**

She loves you; she loves you not. Isn't that the silent inquiry of the month? That, and what can you do to MAKE her love you? Roofies are out--that's not love. So is a trip to The Cheesecake Factory--they don't take reservations. You actually can't make her do anything; but if your lady is eying you softly, consider a movie to break the ice. Keep in mind not any movie will do. This is V-Day. Surrender all dignity at the ticket booth on behalf of your maybe-love. And once you do, let this be the one-stop guide to satisfying your girl’s best Valentine's (and helping the inner Cupid in you).

Chocolates, roses, flowers, a private jet, a spa massage. Though they're old standards, in today's economic climate, it's probably difficult to think of treating your lady to all of these. Well, if you can't afford to take her shopping, you can always just take her to see this week's new chick flick, Confessions of a Shopaholic.

Why she might want to see it: A vicarious NYC shopping spree coupled with the chance to vicariously date someone more British than you.

Why you might not: You don't "speak Prada," nor do you plan on taking a class to learn how.

The silver lining: Two hours of your V-Day love treatment are already resolved! No antibiotics required.

Tips for the untrained:
- This flick stars Borat's girlfriend, the feisty redhead from Wedding Crashers, Isla Fisher. Here, she seems to be acting with similar levels of feist, which invariably implies there will be moments of real humor...and moments of slight annoyance. Just prepare yourself. Also keep in mind that she embodies many of the eccentricities ladies try to keep under wraps, so for the most part, we kind of like her.
- Is it just me, or is it easy to confuse Isla Fisher with Amy Adams? I think I've spotted an emerging difference: this time of year, Adams goes critically acclaimed, Isla goes commercial, both tend to shoot and score. So yes, they do both have red hair. But unless you want to get depressed by seeing Doubt again, maybe don't dwell on it.
- If you missed He's Just Not that Into You last week (I'm banking you were dying to see it), consider a femme-friendly double feature this weekend. Then consider learning the differences between Prada and Old Navy.
- Since it is Valentine's, explore the opportunities you have to work this movie into an overall V-Day theme. Gift certificate to her favorite store? Take her dancing? Get her a new, bright pink laptop? Teach her how to use Google? Whatever you do, don't buy her Prada. Because if she likes what you buy...and she probably will...you will be battling the recession much longer than you think.

Valentine's may be a chocolate-coated, Hallmark-constructed phenomenon, but it's allure for men is still there. Whatever you do, however small, will get you noticed. If you're panicking about V-Day, maybe you should wonder why. Are you projecting the panic of your relationship against a calendar? Don't. Times are tough, and it's the simple things that count. Pair a single red rose with movie tickets and add a bottle of champs for good measure, and you're already on your way back from being mediocre just weeks before. Cook her dinner at home, and you've both impressed/amused her and saved yourself the prix-fixe fare at any of your local, upscale eateries.

If you are courting a lady who likes her movies like she likes her men (action-packed and with popcorn), you do have some other options this weekend, such as The International starring Clive Owen. Recall Clive's hotness, however, before you schedule that date. Taken with Liam Neeson is still enjoying favorable buzz, but if fluttering love is the theme du jour, perhaps consider Two Lovers, the Gwyneth Paltrow/Joaquin Phoenix picture that flutters into limited release just in time for you to wonder why you only have one lover. Above all, keep it stress free, and have fun. Chick flicks may be her best friend, but I bet she's into you, too.

Rent Your Face Off: two weeks, 11.5 movies

I've had comedy on the mind for some time now. And given the lack of good cinema fare, I decided to bring the cinema home to me. I mean, come on. My tv is the size of your mom before she "called Jenny." Bigger, even. And thus commenced the TiVo-tastic boob tube fest and Blockbuster rental-rama.

First up, an off-beat movie about cops. Or a cop movie about beating off? There is a lot of sexual innuendo enshrouded in the Reno Police force. You be the judge.

RENO 911: MIAMI
plot: Incompetent squad saves Miami Beach.
thought: Meow I wanna watch SUPER TROOPERS.
in five: 2.5/5
A little more Reno

Now, I know the show "Extras" isn't a movie, but I'd been dying to catch an episode for some time. Didn't get around to it until the season finale, and hey, it was two hours. So I'm counting it as half a movie.

EXTRAS: EXTRA SPECIAL SEASON FINALE
plot: Ricky Gervais gets cocky, loses dignity.
thought: Glimpse the natural Hollywood trajectory.
in five: 3.5/5
A few more extras

I liked the idea of the next movie (also a TiVo find), because I've never met a black guy who only dates white girls. Well, apparently, that man doesn't exist.

I'M THROUGH WITH WHITE GIRLS (THE INEVITABLE UNDOING OF JAY BROOKS)
plot: Black man dates black woman.
thought: There's no hope for interracials?
in five: 3/5
A little less biracial dating

I like Owen Wilson, and YOU, ME AND DUPREE was airing commercial-free. I don't like rom-coms, so I wasn't expecting to really like it...and I didn't...so there you go.

YOU, ME AND DUPREE
plot: Kate Hudson's husband thinks she's cheating (with co-star Owen Wilson).
thought: And we have to watch.
in five: 2/5
A little more Michael Douglas

Classic Jim Carrrey ahead! And isn't that his best stuff? I'm a mega-fan of TRUMAN SHOW, and I very much enjoyed FUN WITH DICK & JANE, but I think LIAR, LIAR is the movie--more than any of the Ace Ventura's--that explains why so many people would pay money to watch this guy contort his face and act the fool. He's over the top. He's a little annoying. But he's classic, comedy gold.

LIAR, LIAR
plot: A lawyer tries out honesty.
thought: Jim Carrey as a serious actor.
in five: 4/5
Full-length film on Hulu.com

Meant to catch IN BRUGES when it came out in theatres, so when my friend TiVo brought it over for movie night, I jumped at the chance. Colin Farrell does not disappoint. I want this film to win the Oscar for Original Screenplay.

IN BRUGES
plot: Hitman hides out in Lametown.
thought: Sweetly glorious in its simplicity.
in five: 4/5
A little more Belgium nightlife

Anthony Minghella was a very respected director, and I haven't been exposed much to his work. This is why I was thrilled to see THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY, which my friend Curly Beast counts as one of her favorite films. I liked it, but I wasn't prepared for where it went. And it left me with too many questions, the simplest being...why the heck didn't Mr. Ripley leave Europe to escape the mess he was in? No answers.

TALENTED MR. RIPLEY
plot: Matt Damon pales in comparison to Jude Law.
thought: See above.
in five: 3.5/5
A little more creepy time

After that darkness, I wanted something light, easy to handle. I'd heard that SHALLOW HAL was cuter than you might think years ago, and it fit the mood I was in. It was, of course, mildly ridiculous. And Jack Black hadn't quite found his big screen groove yet, I'd argue. But I saw where he was going, and I love him now. Go, Jack, go.

SHALLOW HAL
plot: Asshole unknowingly dates fat girl.
thought: Cuter than you might think.
in five: 3/5
A few more fat jokes

Another overlooked release from a few years back that ended up on the TiVo. It aired on the LOGO Network, which is a gay cable network I'd never watched before, but fast-forwarding through the commercials while leisurely taking in IMAGINE ME & YOU around 1am one weeknight, I've got one thing to say about LOGO: you look hilarious. I'm not in your demo, but I might just watch some of your shows anyway.

IMAGINE ME & YOU
plot: Closet lesbian discovers her vagina.
thought: Time to return wedding presents!
in five: 3/5
A little more lesbian love

Ohhhh Sacha Baron Cohen. You're too much. I love that he got so many lawsuits after making this movie, and I also love that he didn't break character once. Clutch move. Have you ever seen him as himself, like at an awards show? He's almost boring. That's a comedic gift.

BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN
plot: Faux-Kazakh man makes faux-documentary.
thought: Mocking America usually plays well.
in five: 3.5/5
A little more SBC craziness

I'd never even heard of TOOTSIE until about three months ago, but then suddenly, someone was bringing it up in conversation almost every five days. After some UCLA instructor told me I should see it, I finally said, "OKAY!" Had no clue what it was about. But turns out, that doesn't matter, because when a screenplay is well written, you get on board right away.

TOOTSIE
plot: Faux-woman becomes TV sensation.
thought: He's in drag...and it works.
in five: 3.5/5
A little more cross-dressing

TOOTSIE did run long, I'll say, but it was funny. The final and twelfth film I watched in the last two weeks was work-related, but I am so, so glad I got to see it. I am obsessed with the Nollywood phenomenon, partly because I'm Nigerian, and it was so cool to see it given a great portrayal. There probably will never be a film industry like Hollywood anywhere else in the world; it ain't gonna happen. But it's nice to see that in some parts of the world, that just doesn't matter. The best films are those that speak to our culture. The best films, like the best cookies, are homemade. So eat up indie and never get full.

NOLLYWOOD BABYLON (a documentary?!)
plot: Hark, the third-world Hollywood.
thought: Indie film is cool everywhere.
in five: 4/5
A few more home movies

So is the rental addiction over? There are just so many random movies--forget the AFI-recommended, IMDB top voted, Oscar winners, etc etc.--I have weird tastes. So I'm going to find a few more flicks to increase my cultural learnings to make benefit glorious mental film libraries of letop5. You are welcome, physically or electronically, to join me.

Messob Ethiopian Restaurant | dinner

True to my word, I have given Ethiopian food a second chance. And I have to say, apparently, the restaurant I tried the first time around was not the best Ethiopian Restaurant in Little Ethiopia, the street-long, East African culture bubble in central Fire City. Nyala was good, but Messob, my Ethiopian round two, was great.

It was work that brought me there, I must admit. I've always been one to spend money on a new place than go back to one I was only half keen on, so I suggested Messob, and luckily the boss had heard good things. The injera (sourdough-like flappy bread) was fluffier, the spices much more resonant, and we ordered trout...and they brought a whole trout. Like with the head, and I had to slice it. Fun! And delicious.

After Messob, I can say, confidently, that I like Ethiopian food. And I don't mean to fault Nyala too much; I think when I went there, I didn't know what to expect at all, so my palate wasn't ripe for assessment, too confused by curiosity to levy any proper critique. I think Nyala is good; I just think Messob is better. And I definitely hope to go back! Care to join me?

the spot: Messob Ethiopian Restaurant | (323) 938-8827
the thought: 4/5
to try: honey wine! tastes like nectar of the slightly alcoholic gods

use your hands: http://www.messob.com/

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

Well, of course after writing about it, I wanted to see it! Surprised? If you know me--and if you're reading this, I think you know me a l'il bit--then you know that I hate most, if not all, romantic comedies, so personally, I'm not surprised that you're surprised. Well, listen--more surprise!--I actually liked it. And here's why:

FIVE REASONS WHY LETOP5 WAS KIND OF INTO 'HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU':
1. The Cast. Come on, you've got Connelly, Connolly, Cooper, Barrymore, Affleck, Aniston, Goodwin, Long and even that other one...what's her name...Johansson? That's a pretty solid group of familiar faces. Sure, none of them really, independently, appear in movies I want to see...but when you put them all together, my Intrigue Meter picks up on it.

2. The Plot Potential. I wanted, and for the most part (not the whole part) got, a tale telling women to stop it with the antics and calm the frak down. If a movie is focusing on disillusion-ing the over-illusional girl, then I'm all for it. Maybe he was busy, maybe he will be traveling, maybe he did miss your call/lose your number/mean what he said/etc etc. But if he did...and it's a week later...you'd know by now. Good grief.

3. The Unrelatability. That might seem odd. But I was half-hopeful, half-scared that along the course of this film, I would see myself in some of the female characters. Like I would go, "That is so me," and "Dear God in heaven above, I do that exact, revolting thing," and then realise, in the course of two hours at a dingy AMC, that I'm a social pariah. But after seeing the movie...I'm so glad neither of those thoughts ever made their way into my over-sized head. Each woman in this film, except perhaps Scarlett Johansson's cheating ass, is an extreme caricature of how most women really act. Ginnifer Goodwin plays the most ridiculous of all: the unfortunate, needy, obsessively opportunistic, depressingly desperate single girl. Everything she did, I could judge--and judge, I did. So did most of the theatre. She was the extreme case of what a dating woman should strive NOT to be, and it felt pretty good that I couldn't relate to that. That being said, I did hands-down relate to Drew Barrymore's character having a gaggle of gay friends. But no MySpace video chat for me, thank you.

4. The Viewing Experience. As stated above, the movie theatre crowd did not hold back from the "oohs" and "ahhs" and "no, he didn'ts" during my viewing experience. That was pretty cool. I think this is what critics claimed happened during mass viewings of MAMMA MIA, but I wouldn't know, I was too busy puking at the screen to notice. During HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU, hardly anyone was too timid about sharing their thoughts about any of these women--and then men they chose or didn't choose. I learned a few things, too, like: (a)cargo pants can be sweet and sexy; (b)few people forgive a cheater; (c)women are more critical of other women than of men; (d)who doesn't love gay friends?; (e)who isn't suspicious of myspace?; (f)I'm not the only one who thinks Justin Long is H-O-T-T, hott.

5. The Men. From Justin "ooh-la-la" Long to Kevin "cuter than cupcakes--and just as tiny" Connolly, it was a good night for man-watching. And usually I don't find Ben Affleck remotely attractive--I've always preferred Casey--but he was endearing in this film, and the relationship between he and Jennifer Aniston's character worked, for once, not because of her believability as an actress, but because of his. He kinda won me over. Furthermore, though he is our douchebag non-grata, from the minute Bradley Cooper stepped on screen, women definitely went into "hubba hubba" mode. And with Scarlett Johanssen rehashing her role as "transient femme fatale with marriage-destroying abilities" (re: MATCH POINT, VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA, IN GOOD COMPANY, GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING, LOST IN TRANSLATION, THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL...really, she's a one-trick poney), and all the other women acting three types of crazy, it was nice to be anchored in by some good guys. Congrats, gentleman: a romantic comedy that doesn't make you look like unrealistic, emasculated weenies.

The final message of HJNTIY is a little weak, I'll admit--"Keep hoping, and eventually you'll find that special someone?" Please. Puh-leeeze.--but the path to that message was a pretty funny ride. Now I won't say I've been converted to the lovey-dovey movie fold, but hey, you can't always judge a book by its cover. Though, apparently, you can judge a man by his lack of a phone call. Noted.

plot: Both sexes drown in mixed signals.
thought: Does drowning usually finish well?
in five: 3.5/5

get into it: http://www.hesjustnotthatintoyoumovie.com/

FROZEN RIVER

Continuing the trend of late updates: I saw FROZEN RIVER, written by the Oscar-nominated Courtney Hunt and starring the Oscar-nominated Melissa Leo. I saw it last Sunday at a special screening the morning before the most-watched Superbowl in Superbowl history. And then I watched the Superbowl and got to see Bruce Springsteen do a crotch-slide into Camera 2 on the edge of his halftime stage. What a class act; I wonder how quickly that went up on YouTube.

Anyway--back to the icy gorge. In short, Oscar season has been one thick, depressing stew of tear-jerky, emotional, "character" films, and though FROZEN RIVER, in essence, wasn't much different, it did at least offer a bit of lightness within the lingering misery. Focusing on a mother living in upstate New York raising her two boys in a trailer home, FROZEN RIVER is a story about family and keeping it together. Our story's star, Ray, played wonderfully and, you know, tear-jerkily, by Leo, is married to an absent deadbeat with more than a bit of a gambling problem. Though this Daddy Do-Wrong is somehow still a hero in the eyes of Ray's eldest son, TJ (Charlie McDermott: rising star), it's Ray who's left with the mess of keeping the family together, emotionally and monetarily, in his absence.

The film's a hard-hitting piece that just might make you question the lengths to which you would go in order to maintain, even in the barest degree, some minimum of your lifestyle. Considering these harsh economic times, it's not off-base at all. So...would you smuggle in illegal immigrants from Canada so you could afford Christmas presents for your kids? Let's hope you never have to ask yourself that, eh?

Highlights of this film include every scene with the two sons. That James Reilly is the cutest!

plot: Penniless parent gains questionable employment.
thought: Worst-case scenario...times ten.
in five: 4/5

ford the river: http://www.sonyclassics.com/frozenriver/

Girl's Best Friend: He's Just Not that Into You

**This article also appears on RopeofSilicon.com.**

The month of love has arrived. And with it comes the pressure to romance with style, woo with ease. But listen, don't let it overwhelm you. The magic of February is that you have a "get out of jail free" day: February 14th. That means you have thirteen days to screw up and then stylishly make up for it--or fourteen days to get it wrong after the fact and always refer back. No matter which scenario takes place, however, she will tell her friends about it, so getting it right more than once is in your favor. For the other weekends this month, then, here is the weekly, one-stop guide to your girl’s best friend (and the inner girl in you).

Did you even have to ask? If you know any girls at all, you know they've been talking about this week's movie since it first premiered in name only on an episode of "Sex and the City." He's Just Not that into You features more famous faces than you'd expect in an Oscar contender (but a fraction of the plot). It's the American Love Actually, and whether it's good or goosh, it's guaranteed to do gangbusters at the cinema.

Why she might want to see it: So she can figure out if you're just not that into her. It'll be like watching a magician reveal his secrets!

Why you might not: All the mystery of your nonchalant neglect exposed? By Ben Affleck and his "bros"? It seems unfair.

The silver lining: You'll no longer have to make excuses when you don't want to hang out. "Dinner with your parents? Can't make it, 'cause I'm just not that into it." She'll definitely, totally, always, completely understand and respect your decision.

Tips for the untrained:
- He's Just Not That Into You the film is based on He's Just Not That Into You the book, which for all intents and purposes is a self-help guide for all repeat rejectards who think "Don't call me," means "I'll call you." Want to learn a bit about the female dating psyche before you head to the cinema? Pick up the book at your local Borders or Barnes & Noble--that is, if they haven't gone out of business yet--and give it a look-see. Then cry, because what's in there doesn't just apply to women. Have you been rejected, too? Let it out. Only a small handful of shoppers will be listening.

- At 129 minutes, He Kinda Never Liked You runs a little long. It may be laughy, but it also might be torture. Prepare yourself for the latter by setting your cell phone on vibrate and putting a timer on for an hour. You don't want to be the boyfriend who keeps checking his watch, so slide that sucker in your pocket, on the side away from the lady. Timer rings, you're about halfway through. Not too bad, right?

- I don't really want to suggest a theme night for this movie. Something about the probable dissection of dating during the film makes me think that perhaps you should cut the night short. Dinner first, then the movie--no need for prolonged conversation after the fact. And no matter what you think of it, be wise about expressing those thoughts. It isn't worth revealing that you now realise you're a tool and have been emasculated. If she absolutely loved it, you thought it was "good." If she hated it, you thought it was "okay." And if she says she'll call you...don't hold your breath.

- As mentioned above, the cast of He Actually Was Trying to Pick Up Your Friend is a bit ridiculous. Jennifer Aniston, Ginnifer Goodwin, Jennifer Connelly, Kevin Connolly, Ben Affleck, Drew Barrymore, Justin Long...and Busy Phillips, Scarlett Johansson, Bradley Cooper. Did they owe someone a favor? Is this the result of a bet? Are Jennifer and Kevin Connolly related? Is "Ginnifer" really an acceptable spelling of "Jennifer"? All great questions. Most will likely go unanswered during this film, so if you're really curious, do your legwork. But according to an interview with producer Drew Barrymore, all the actors above committed to the work because of the message and the writing. That's right, the writing. Clearly, she's trying to sell it, but that should make you a wee bit hopeful for a a few nice laughs. You wouldn't figure Drew for a liar, right?

If for some reason He Was Drunk, It Was Late, What Do You Expect? is not anything like something your partner would want to watch, you do have some other options for romantic bonding. Pink Panther 2? Just kidding--Steve Martin is classic funny, but you can catch that on DVD.

The fantastically animated Coraline and the Yoda-loving Fanboys both hit the cineplex this weekend, as does Push, a fantasy action/adventure that hails the return of Dakota Fanning following "the awkward years." In fact, it's a good weekend for popcorn flicks, wouldn't you say? Between Doubt, Rev Road, The Reader and Frozen River, this Awards Season has been downright depressing. Here's hope that we'll all be at least a little bit into what's in store for spring.

Overlooked Greatness: 'Bottle Rocket' (1996)

**This article also appears on RopeofSilicon.com.**

"Bob's gone! He stole his car!"

Have you ever been separated from your friends or family at the supermarket and had to be summoned via overhead speaker, because "your party" was waiting for you? You duck your head, pretending it isn't you, pretending you just wanted to saunter to the front of the store at just that moment. But you know they know. Everyone knows. Why did you leave your cell phone in the car?

Well, if you had seen today's overlooked classic, the Wes Anderson-Owen Wilson-Luke Wilson cherry-popper, Bottle Rocket, you could have spared yourself the shame of hearing your name mispronounced on that Whole Foods loudspeaker. Because then, had you been faced with flaxseed on your right, quinoa on your left and friends nowhere around you, you would have known the solution. Just call out, "Ca-CAW, ca-CAW!" Your friends, who in this scenario are no less classy than you, will find you just fine.

The magically quotable moments of this offbeat buddy caper begin with birdcalls and don't end until the credits roll. As Rope of Silicon has noticed before, Bottle Rocket is a classic. Based on the Sundance short film of the same name, also starring the AWW trio (that's Anderson, Wilson and Wilson), the feature-length Bottle Rocket showcases these three dark comedy pros at their finest. And I like The Royal Tenenbaums as much as most Anderson fans do -- "That's a trick; you don't have a middle name." -- but I'll argue now why the best of Anderson may very well have been his first attempt. Though if you're not an Anderson fan, know this: Bottle Rocket is not like Anderson's later works. Yes, still co-written by Owen; yes, still technically a commercial failure; yes, still placing his muses in their best light; but trust, their light is one you should gladly stare into, even may your retina burn and burn.

1.) Character names: The names a writer picks for his or her principal characters say a lot. And sometimes they carefully say nothing at all. Look out: Owen plays Dignan. Robert Musgrave plays a guy named Bob. Owen's older brother Andrew plays a guy who goes by the name Future Man -- no explanation. James Caan plays Mr. Henry -- no first name. And Luke plays Anthony Adams, whose last name is akin to the first man on Earth. These names are great, as they carefully set the scene for what's to come. Dignan is unusual, original and yet always trying to stand out; Bob is nondescript and kind of useless, described early on by Dignan as "the zero out in the car." Future Man is threatening; Mr. Henry is a drifter; and Anthony Adams is the Beta-male disguised in Alpha packaging. We'd get it if they didn't say anything. But luckily, they exchange witty dialogue with the sharp repartee that only comes when friends conspire together. Aww... that's so sweet.

2.) The cast: It's the first reason to roll with any indie film whose plot can't easily be explained without grazing a lot of the life out of the story. For instance, on the surface, Napoleon Dynamite could be described as a "slice of life tale about a nerdy teenager who tries to help his equally awkward friend run for class president." Sure, that's it. But who would Napoleon have been had he not been played by Jon Heder? So it is with Bottle Rocket, a film in which, at the time of its making, contained no known names except James Caan, who by this time, had already had three wives, if that says anything. Luke and Owen together are a great comedic balance that I wish happened more often. Throw in another Wilson brother and a guy with worse hair than all three Wilsons combined (that'd be Robert Musgrave as Bob), and you've got greatness. Wouldn't you figure that buddies making movies together make some of the finest weird films? Hence, Nappy D with Heder and homies, the upcoming Mystery Team featuring Derrick Comedy, and today's OG, Bottle Rocket.

3.) Nonsensical plot: "Some friends try to do some robbing and fail repeatedly." That might be the meat of Bottle Rocket, but as intimated above, it does zap a bit of the life from the story. Even to say Bottle Rocket is a comedy isn't enough. With every plot turn, whether it's surprising or predicted, we get a quotable moment written (or ad-libbed) by Anderson and O.Wilson to sum up the action. They rob a house -- and it's Anthony's parents' house. They steal some money -- and they're stealing from a neighborhood bookstore. They plan a big heist -- and they actually think they can accomplish it during lunch, in broad daylight, wearing yellow jumpsuits. It's an hilarious mélange of mixed up scenarios that, with one element changed, would seem utterly normal but, twisted how they are, are uproariously funny. And I'm not talking the funny that you see on the screen, necessarily -- this is funny that you feel. Your brain gets happier with each repeated viewing as you realize things you missed the time before and how the story stayed good anyway. It's one of those films you've got to see in order to understand its layers.

4.) Un-annoying romantic subplot: Another favorite comedy of mine, Wedding Crashers, also stars Owen Wilson. It's f'ing ridiculous good fun. Great dialogue, great characters, great premise, all. But the first half of the film feels surprisingly more upbeat than the latter half, and here's why: Crashers got "romanced." True, almost every film featuring a cast of crass men needs a romantic subplot, for whatever reason (To humanize the men? To anchor in some ladies? To make me roll my eyes?), but problems can occur when that thread takes over the whole quilt. The brilliant nature of Bottle Rocket is that the romance between L.Wilson's character, Anthony, and a motel maid, Inez, remains a subplot. In some ways it is crucial to Anthony's development, but we get the sense he would have been fine with out her. Hence, while Crashers crossed from buddy comedy to romantic comedy, Bottle Rocket retains its bromance angle -- without drowning in testosterone.

5.) Strong finish: There's a moment, a distinct one, in Bottle Rocket, where mentally, with a heavy dose of emotion, I always say, "I... love... this... movie." It's the last two minutes. Dignan walks away from Anthony and Bob, casting a wistful look, leaden with gravitas, over his shoulder, and I'm hit. The music swells, the image slows; I can't look away. There he is, I think. There is Owen Wilson, exposed. I think good movies reveal not only the intent of the writer or the director, but also the intents of the actors -- they're the ones portraying the characters, after all. And when you've got the right actor for the part -- or in this case, when the actor actually wrote most of the part -- a character can take on depth you wouldn't believe. Bottle Rocket may now be a goofy, Saturday afternoon movie to watch between rounds of pot brownies and beer, but in its finish, it becomes a little bit more. Maybe that's why Martin Scorsese names it as one of his top ten films of the nineties. Well, Marty (may I call you that?), so do I.

I don't intend to wax too meta, but the Bottle Rocket story arc in some ways actually parallels the lives and careers of its main stars. The first small caper the men try, they essentially succeed at -- though it was a small job robbing a relative's house. The second is their big win. And after that come mistakes and missteps, Bob as the zero out in the car, some crossed attempts at love, then Dignan contemplating the irony of their story: he was able to save Anthony at the nut house, but now he can't escape the clink. Replace "nut house" with "box office," and "the clink" with "depression," and you'll see where I'm going. This movie is an ode to Owen Wilson, that quirky, secretly nerdy comic, that Beta-male in Alpha-male packaging who keeps on trying to get it right. Well, you got it right, Mr. Wilson. You already got it right.