http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/pirates/atworldsend/
PLOT : This be the last, aaargh !
THOUGHT : Why am I so sad ?
It started weak. After the opening teaser, we find our leading lady (the svelte and saucy Kiera KNIGHTLEY) and our second favorite resurrected pirate (Geoffrey RUSH, 2nd to Mr. Depp, naturally) in Singapore. I distinctly (stupidly) remember thinking, "Really ? The world's end is...Singapore ? Is that racist ?"
The film unwound slowly, even more slowly than Pirates 2, which was disappointing, given this was the proclaimed final installment in the hugely successful PIRATES series. Some highlights included seeing Kieth RICHARDS of the Rolling Stones (aka "the Human Riff") cameo as Captain Teague, i.e. Jack Sparrow's father. Also, you'll get to see (spoiler alert ?) the real face of Cpt. Davy Jones (Bill NIGHY) and the real identity of Tia Dalma (Naomie HARRIS). Orlando even kind of grows a pair, which made me kind of respect him. But in all, the movie left me very...sad. And I don't want to say why, but I actually cried, I was so sad. Then again, I cried during TARZAN when Tarzan hugged the gorilla mamma and said, "You will always be my mother." Just thinking about it, I'm tearing up right now. What can I say, Disney movies make me cry. It's just that I wasn't expecting PIRATES to do that ! I wish Gore VERBINSKI would explain himself.
This movie leaves a lot unanswered, sews things up a little too quickly and doesn't offer much room for a "maybe in the future, after the cameras stopped rolling, everything worked out fine" conclusion. This movie begs for a sequel. Problem is, there won't be one. Unless Kiera's out of work and still cute in ten or fifteen years. Johnny Depp, we don't have to worry about. He'll be a hunk for life.
Best thing about this sequel : the pirate song, reprived throughout the film by the slightly predictable but still quite wonderful musical genius of Hans ZIMMER. Oh, and Orlando Bloom. Sissy no more.
Worst thing about this sequel : The lack of a conclusion. The un-conclusion. The faux-clusion. Gore VERBINSKI, explain yourself.
Overall rating : 2.5/5
lundi 28 mai 2007
LES CHANSONS D'AMOUR
http://www.bacfilms.com/
plot : Singing about love and loss.
thought : Definitely the food of love.
LES CHANSONS D'AMOUR was officially selected to this year's Cannes Film Festival, but besides that, I didn't know a thing about it ; I just wanted to get in while the getting was good, since UGC Theatres (though I love them) don't usually carry artsy movies. This one was artsy. Artsy and lovely and current and tragic and beautiful and surprising and worth it.
Seperated into three parts, (1) Le Depart (2) L'Absence and (3) Le Retour ("the depart, absence and the return," respectively), this movie dialogues a threesome on the rocks, two girls and a boy who have lived happily for some time and what happens when their lives take a turbulent change. But really CHANSONS treats it all : for the short-lived lesbians, the unsuccessful threesomes and the closet gays--and any parents and relatives--this is your musical. The scenes of Paris are lovely, and the duets are great ! Perhaps I'm naïve in appreciating their wonder because I didn't understand all the lyrics (French is even harder to comprehend when sung--trust me), but I'll stand by my declaration all the same. Christophe HONORE delivered a film replete with romantic sentiment that doesn't get too thick, a bit of bawdy, a bit of tawdry, and just enough heartache to make you want to ache. It's a beautiful little film.
Overall rating : 4/5
plot : Singing about love and loss.
thought : Definitely the food of love.
LES CHANSONS D'AMOUR was officially selected to this year's Cannes Film Festival, but besides that, I didn't know a thing about it ; I just wanted to get in while the getting was good, since UGC Theatres (though I love them) don't usually carry artsy movies. This one was artsy. Artsy and lovely and current and tragic and beautiful and surprising and worth it.
Seperated into three parts, (1) Le Depart (2) L'Absence and (3) Le Retour ("the depart, absence and the return," respectively), this movie dialogues a threesome on the rocks, two girls and a boy who have lived happily for some time and what happens when their lives take a turbulent change. But really CHANSONS treats it all : for the short-lived lesbians, the unsuccessful threesomes and the closet gays--and any parents and relatives--this is your musical. The scenes of Paris are lovely, and the duets are great ! Perhaps I'm naïve in appreciating their wonder because I didn't understand all the lyrics (French is even harder to comprehend when sung--trust me), but I'll stand by my declaration all the same. Christophe HONORE delivered a film replete with romantic sentiment that doesn't get too thick, a bit of bawdy, a bit of tawdry, and just enough heartache to make you want to ache. It's a beautiful little film.
Overall rating : 4/5
SYRIANA (rented)
http://syrianamovie.warnerbros.com/
plot : Oil plus government equals evil.
thought : So confusing, I'm seeing stars.
Overall rating : STORY 4/5, but DELIVERY 2/5
plot : Oil plus government equals evil.
thought : So confusing, I'm seeing stars.
Overall rating : STORY 4/5, but DELIVERY 2/5
STEPPIN' [STOMP THE YARD]
http://www.sonypictures.com/homevideo/stomptheyard/
plot : You got served--stomp edition.
thought : Ha ha ha ha ha.
I'm not laughing because the movie was such a rollicking comedy. I think it was actually intended as a drama. A dance drama. A stomp drama. But the thing is, French people don't have sororities or fraternities--and definitely not black ones--so the French were laughing through the whole movie. Didn't hurt its box office, though ; I just think perhaps the French didn't get the significance. In order to prove you are manly and athletic and strong and worthy of female contact...you live in a house with a bunch of boys and start dance lessons ? What ? Don't worry ; I may not be a black Greek, but I think I kind of got the significance. It's about bonding, lifelong relationships and staying in shape. Right ?
Well, this movie killed in America, was number one at the BO for 2 weeks. Why ? I don't really know. It was like YOU GOT SERVED, but with a lot more stomping. And the camera angles weren't as good, so you couldn't even really appreciate the stomping that much. I actually got a little motion sick and came down with a migraine headache after viewing this movie, which is unfortunate, because I kind of wanted to practice some of the moves after seeing it. Haha. Ha.
What I did really appreciate about this movie was the music. Because Chris Brown (singer of 2006's hiphop favorite RUN IT) made a cameo in the film, I expected the entire soundtrack to be laced with his music--and I wouldn't have been upset about it, to be honest, but instead, the director chose to implement a mix of hip hop and rock that helped this movie straddle two genres : the "black" movie and the "dance" movie. The mix of rock and hip hop (hiphop rock ? rock hiphop ? hiprock ? rockhop ?) complimented the leading man's moves, a hitherto unseen Columbus SHORT (oh wait, he was in SAVE THE LAST DANCE 2. Did you know there was a second one ?!?!), probably better than pure hiphop would have. So congrats, Columbus. At least 5% of the total France female population is drooling over you.
Overall rating : 2/5 (blame the migraine)
plot : You got served--stomp edition.
thought : Ha ha ha ha ha.
I'm not laughing because the movie was such a rollicking comedy. I think it was actually intended as a drama. A dance drama. A stomp drama. But the thing is, French people don't have sororities or fraternities--and definitely not black ones--so the French were laughing through the whole movie. Didn't hurt its box office, though ; I just think perhaps the French didn't get the significance. In order to prove you are manly and athletic and strong and worthy of female contact...you live in a house with a bunch of boys and start dance lessons ? What ? Don't worry ; I may not be a black Greek, but I think I kind of got the significance. It's about bonding, lifelong relationships and staying in shape. Right ?
Well, this movie killed in America, was number one at the BO for 2 weeks. Why ? I don't really know. It was like YOU GOT SERVED, but with a lot more stomping. And the camera angles weren't as good, so you couldn't even really appreciate the stomping that much. I actually got a little motion sick and came down with a migraine headache after viewing this movie, which is unfortunate, because I kind of wanted to practice some of the moves after seeing it. Haha. Ha.
What I did really appreciate about this movie was the music. Because Chris Brown (singer of 2006's hiphop favorite RUN IT) made a cameo in the film, I expected the entire soundtrack to be laced with his music--and I wouldn't have been upset about it, to be honest, but instead, the director chose to implement a mix of hip hop and rock that helped this movie straddle two genres : the "black" movie and the "dance" movie. The mix of rock and hip hop (hiphop rock ? rock hiphop ? hiprock ? rockhop ?) complimented the leading man's moves, a hitherto unseen Columbus SHORT (oh wait, he was in SAVE THE LAST DANCE 2. Did you know there was a second one ?!?!), probably better than pure hiphop would have. So congrats, Columbus. At least 5% of the total France female population is drooling over you.
Overall rating : 2/5 (blame the migraine)
jeudi 24 mai 2007
Le top 5 - semaine de 21 mai 2007
EN FRANCE - http://www.commeaucinema.com/box.php3
1. Spiderman 3
2. Zodiac
3. La Faille (Fracture)
4. Steppin' (Stomp the Yard)
5. Les Vacances de Mr. Bean (Mr.Bean's Holiday)
AUX ETATS-UNIS - http://imdb.com/
1. Shrek the Third
2. Spiderman 3
3. 28 Weeks Later
4. Georgia Rule
5. Disturbia
COMMENTARY
1. Let's look at the French top 5. Are any of those movies French ?
2. I saw STOMP THE YARD last weekend. I did. Sue me.
3. In France the film DISTURBIA, is called PARANOIAK, which is weird.
4. Pirates 3 opened yesterday !!! Meaning France gets Pirates before Shrek. Why is that ? So excited for Pirates 3 !!!
5. Lindsay Lohan recently appeared in the movie CHAPTER 27 (did ya see it ? NOPE) about the death of John Lennon, and the man who played John Lennon (Mark Lindsay Chapman) has a name identical to the man who actually killed John Lennon (Mark David Chapman) except his middle name is LINDSAY. Thank you imdb trivia !
1. Spiderman 3
2. Zodiac
3. La Faille (Fracture)
4. Steppin' (Stomp the Yard)
5. Les Vacances de Mr. Bean (Mr.Bean's Holiday)
AUX ETATS-UNIS - http://imdb.com/
1. Shrek the Third
2. Spiderman 3
3. 28 Weeks Later
4. Georgia Rule
5. Disturbia
COMMENTARY
1. Let's look at the French top 5. Are any of those movies French ?
2. I saw STOMP THE YARD last weekend. I did. Sue me.
3. In France the film DISTURBIA, is called PARANOIAK, which is weird.
4. Pirates 3 opened yesterday !!! Meaning France gets Pirates before Shrek. Why is that ? So excited for Pirates 3 !!!
5. Lindsay Lohan recently appeared in the movie CHAPTER 27 (did ya see it ? NOPE) about the death of John Lennon, and the man who played John Lennon (Mark Lindsay Chapman) has a name identical to the man who actually killed John Lennon (Mark David Chapman) except his middle name is LINDSAY. Thank you imdb trivia !
GOODBYE, BAFANA
http://www.goodbyebafana.com/
plot : Racist man befriends influential "negro."
thought : It's tough to rewrite history.
A movie I've been wanting to see for a while. And I know it's bad, but I've wanted to see it, not for the plot, but mostly for the visual pleause of staring at Joseph FIENNES on screen for two hours. Call me crass.
The film centers on Nelson Mandela's long stay in the South African prison system during the years of apartheid, all the way from June 1968 (one month after, here in France, Mitterand (?) lost the love of the youth) until his release. During these two decades, he forms an unlikely friendship with his white, good-ol-boy prison guard, Sgt. James Gregory, here played by William Shakespeare--oh, I mean, Joseph Fiennes.
Of course the story's good. Bille AUGUST creates a film about one of the major historical shifts in the world, of course it's good. But the casting and acting, unfortunately, missed their mark.
Joseph, I believe, comes to us after years of London theatre, and on screen, you can kind of tell. His movements, stiff like the soldier he portrays, sometimes seem too harsh. And though Dennis HAYSBERT has plenty experience palying political men of controvery (ref : President Palmer on the series 24), he's not a Mandela. He's too...tall.
Now, their control of accents and the South African language impresed me immensely. But the "this is something important" music thumping down through every heady scene did not. Neither did Diane KRUGER's tears. Call me callous.
I can't explain it, I can only say it felt...light. Lighter than I expected for a subject that should reverberate with emotion. I wanted to believe every moment, but I actually found myself forgetting it was a true story because the actors all seemed to be acting. I shouldn't have needed the music to remind me how heavy it was. Fiennes should have done that just fine. So what gives ?
Overall rating : 2.5/5
plot : Racist man befriends influential "negro."
thought : It's tough to rewrite history.
A movie I've been wanting to see for a while. And I know it's bad, but I've wanted to see it, not for the plot, but mostly for the visual pleause of staring at Joseph FIENNES on screen for two hours. Call me crass.
The film centers on Nelson Mandela's long stay in the South African prison system during the years of apartheid, all the way from June 1968 (one month after, here in France, Mitterand (?) lost the love of the youth) until his release. During these two decades, he forms an unlikely friendship with his white, good-ol-boy prison guard, Sgt. James Gregory, here played by William Shakespeare--oh, I mean, Joseph Fiennes.
Of course the story's good. Bille AUGUST creates a film about one of the major historical shifts in the world, of course it's good. But the casting and acting, unfortunately, missed their mark.
Joseph, I believe, comes to us after years of London theatre, and on screen, you can kind of tell. His movements, stiff like the soldier he portrays, sometimes seem too harsh. And though Dennis HAYSBERT has plenty experience palying political men of controvery (ref : President Palmer on the series 24), he's not a Mandela. He's too...tall.
Now, their control of accents and the South African language impresed me immensely. But the "this is something important" music thumping down through every heady scene did not. Neither did Diane KRUGER's tears. Call me callous.
I can't explain it, I can only say it felt...light. Lighter than I expected for a subject that should reverberate with emotion. I wanted to believe every moment, but I actually found myself forgetting it was a true story because the actors all seemed to be acting. I shouldn't have needed the music to remind me how heavy it was. Fiennes should have done that just fine. So what gives ?
Overall rating : 2.5/5
TRES BIEN, MERCI
http://www.gemini-films.com/versionfrancaise/gemini_filmsfr.htm
plot : A series of unfortunate évènements.
thought : So it isn't just me ?
After a week-and-a-half hiatus of film watching, I choose to revive my cinephilia with...a French film ? What was I thinking ? Well, given it was a jour feriée (holiday), and everything else was sold out, me, I was thinking, "in or away ?" And I went in, expecting a shitty, boring French film.
For the first fifteen to thirty silent, mumbling, brain-numbingly eventless minutes, I was right. But everything following that, I must say, proved to me that I had pegged Emmanuelle CUAU, our director and screenwriter, wrong. Sure, it's "typical" French movie fare--funded by the CNC (Centre Nationale de Cinématographie) and lacking in any real purposeful trajectory (and did I mention the mumbling ?). But in all, this story which weaves around one guy's unusual, mostly accidental run-in with the police, is attractive, because you can't help but realise, "This could happen to me," or--give or take a hospital stay and insert, perhaps, a visit to the French Préfecture--"This HAS happened to me." Ever heard of the French "fonctionnaire" ? Basically the over-glorified secretary who gets in the way and gets nothing done ? Well, apparently, the French are pissed at him, too. All the giggles I heard in the cinéma couldn't be lying.
Kudos to Sandrine KIBERLAIN (Béatrice) and Gilbert MELKI (Alex) for somehow being a believable on-screen French couple. Random, but true. And kudos as well to the preview for BUENOS AIRES 1977 that showed before this movie. Naked football palyers. Looks super. Though kind of sad that TRES BIEN, MERCI really had no music. Except if you count that annoying Mozart concerto with all the chirping birds that plays in the taxi.
Best shot : Alex (MELKI) in his prison cell at the slammer. Minimalist set decoration in jail.
Overall rating : 3.5/5 (though apparently French spectators don't agree)
plot : A series of unfortunate évènements.
thought : So it isn't just me ?
After a week-and-a-half hiatus of film watching, I choose to revive my cinephilia with...a French film ? What was I thinking ? Well, given it was a jour feriée (holiday), and everything else was sold out, me, I was thinking, "in or away ?" And I went in, expecting a shitty, boring French film.
For the first fifteen to thirty silent, mumbling, brain-numbingly eventless minutes, I was right. But everything following that, I must say, proved to me that I had pegged Emmanuelle CUAU, our director and screenwriter, wrong. Sure, it's "typical" French movie fare--funded by the CNC (Centre Nationale de Cinématographie) and lacking in any real purposeful trajectory (and did I mention the mumbling ?). But in all, this story which weaves around one guy's unusual, mostly accidental run-in with the police, is attractive, because you can't help but realise, "This could happen to me," or--give or take a hospital stay and insert, perhaps, a visit to the French Préfecture--"This HAS happened to me." Ever heard of the French "fonctionnaire" ? Basically the over-glorified secretary who gets in the way and gets nothing done ? Well, apparently, the French are pissed at him, too. All the giggles I heard in the cinéma couldn't be lying.
Kudos to Sandrine KIBERLAIN (Béatrice) and Gilbert MELKI (Alex) for somehow being a believable on-screen French couple. Random, but true. And kudos as well to the preview for BUENOS AIRES 1977 that showed before this movie. Naked football palyers. Looks super. Though kind of sad that TRES BIEN, MERCI really had no music. Except if you count that annoying Mozart concerto with all the chirping birds that plays in the taxi.
Best shot : Alex (MELKI) in his prison cell at the slammer. Minimalist set decoration in jail.
Overall rating : 3.5/5 (though apparently French spectators don't agree)
mardi 8 mai 2007
SPIDERMAN 3
http://spiderman3.sonypictures.com/
PLOT : My spidey sense is...lackluster.
THOUGHT : Peter Parker, please stop crying.
Most expensive movie of all time. Biggest opening, both domestic and internationally, of all time. All the signs read yes. And I love Spiderman. I really, really love Spiderman. Childhood with two brothers, we watched all the typical shows : X-Men, Transformers, GI Joe, The Hulk, Power Rangers (though we were a little old for it), Freakazoid and Spiderman. Hence, I really, really love Spiderman. And I really, really wanted to love this movie.
I'm not going to say I didn't. It's just...I came into the theatre, that wonderful, tension-inducing score pumping in my ears, and I expected the motherload of all sequels to land on the theatre screen. And it did land...but a bit crooked. And soft. And emotional. And...dancing. There was too much dancing in this movie.
It's not like we could blame the director, like everyone did with X-MEN II. Behind the camera, Sam Raimi did his job ; the movie was beautiful. But in the script ? Did they actually write in all those dance scenes for Tobey Maguire ? (I'd like to believe that, hoping critics would say, "Now we remember the heartthrob this kid was before Peter Parker--Joaquin Phoenix, eat your heart out !" Tobey Maguire himself forced the scenes into the movie, and the Raimis hid their faces in their hands, weeping, as they signed the agreement to let him gyrate on screen as "V'Guard your virginity'enom.") They shouldn't have. And the Sandman, though a visual masterpiece, was a weak supervillain. He didn't even want to be a villain ! Oh, the humanity ! Oh...right...that's the point of the whole movie.
You may have thought you were going to the theatre to see Spiderman put on a black suit, kick everyone's butt, spit some witty lines, and then, quickly, without sucking us too far into his inner demons, fight that oft-mentioned "battle within" and change back into his classic red number to finish the show. But no. The Battle Within waged for most of the movie. And the final spat that finally put it to rest ? A spat of words, dear friends ! During which we discover, more or less, that "we all choose our destiny, and it is our responsibility to choose the path of light." What is that ? Public service message for all the kids who were planning on leaving the theatre, believeing they were really made of sand and trying to rob a bank ? Sorry. Those kids left when Peter Parker started dancing.
Some final thoughts to round this up, because I just hate to continue dissing what should have been the best superhero movie of all time.
(1) James Franco's a hottie. If James Franco hadn't been in this movie, I would have cried in every scene, just like Tobey did (waaah, Franco keeps on stealing my spotlight, waaah).
(2) Plot holes. From where did the venom come and to where did it go post-Spiderman "battle within" reconciliation ? No answers !
(3) I'm not one to say movie stars should lose weight but...Tobey MAGUIRE should lose wight. He was looking pretty chubby in this one. Didn't he used to be cute ?
(4) Tobey should also consider permanently switching vocal chords with Scarlett Johanssen.
(5) For James Franco, for Topher's fall from grace, for the Sandman visuals and J.Jonah Jameson...for, basically, the second 20 minutes of the movie and the last 20 minutes before the last 10 minutes...it's worth it. But then again, the whole thing could've been garbage, and we still would have flocked to see it. If you build it...
Overall rating : 2.5/5 (sorry, Spidey)
PLOT : My spidey sense is...lackluster.
THOUGHT : Peter Parker, please stop crying.
Most expensive movie of all time. Biggest opening, both domestic and internationally, of all time. All the signs read yes. And I love Spiderman. I really, really love Spiderman. Childhood with two brothers, we watched all the typical shows : X-Men, Transformers, GI Joe, The Hulk, Power Rangers (though we were a little old for it), Freakazoid and Spiderman. Hence, I really, really love Spiderman. And I really, really wanted to love this movie.
I'm not going to say I didn't. It's just...I came into the theatre, that wonderful, tension-inducing score pumping in my ears, and I expected the motherload of all sequels to land on the theatre screen. And it did land...but a bit crooked. And soft. And emotional. And...dancing. There was too much dancing in this movie.
It's not like we could blame the director, like everyone did with X-MEN II. Behind the camera, Sam Raimi did his job ; the movie was beautiful. But in the script ? Did they actually write in all those dance scenes for Tobey Maguire ? (I'd like to believe that, hoping critics would say, "Now we remember the heartthrob this kid was before Peter Parker--Joaquin Phoenix, eat your heart out !" Tobey Maguire himself forced the scenes into the movie, and the Raimis hid their faces in their hands, weeping, as they signed the agreement to let him gyrate on screen as "V'Guard your virginity'enom.") They shouldn't have. And the Sandman, though a visual masterpiece, was a weak supervillain. He didn't even want to be a villain ! Oh, the humanity ! Oh...right...that's the point of the whole movie.
You may have thought you were going to the theatre to see Spiderman put on a black suit, kick everyone's butt, spit some witty lines, and then, quickly, without sucking us too far into his inner demons, fight that oft-mentioned "battle within" and change back into his classic red number to finish the show. But no. The Battle Within waged for most of the movie. And the final spat that finally put it to rest ? A spat of words, dear friends ! During which we discover, more or less, that "we all choose our destiny, and it is our responsibility to choose the path of light." What is that ? Public service message for all the kids who were planning on leaving the theatre, believeing they were really made of sand and trying to rob a bank ? Sorry. Those kids left when Peter Parker started dancing.
Some final thoughts to round this up, because I just hate to continue dissing what should have been the best superhero movie of all time.
(1) James Franco's a hottie. If James Franco hadn't been in this movie, I would have cried in every scene, just like Tobey did (waaah, Franco keeps on stealing my spotlight, waaah).
(2) Plot holes. From where did the venom come and to where did it go post-Spiderman "battle within" reconciliation ? No answers !
(3) I'm not one to say movie stars should lose weight but...Tobey MAGUIRE should lose wight. He was looking pretty chubby in this one. Didn't he used to be cute ?
(4) Tobey should also consider permanently switching vocal chords with Scarlett Johanssen.
(5) For James Franco, for Topher's fall from grace, for the Sandman visuals and J.Jonah Jameson...for, basically, the second 20 minutes of the movie and the last 20 minutes before the last 10 minutes...it's worth it. But then again, the whole thing could've been garbage, and we still would have flocked to see it. If you build it...
Overall rating : 2.5/5 (sorry, Spidey)
lundi 7 mai 2007
LOVE AND OTHER DISASTERS
http://www.europacorp.com/dossiers/love/
plot : Whoops, my gay boyfriend's straight.
thought : You'd like that, wouldn't you ?
Europa Corp hasn't made a ridiculously successful movie in quite some time, and unfortunately, this one's not bringing much money into Luc Besson's professional piggy bank, but in terms of success based on the plot-line of the modern romantic comedy (and I'm NOT comparing it to the ridiculously successful but brain-numbingly awful release of 2006, FAILURE TO LAUNCH), LOVE takes the cake, the cake box and the leftover frosting you forgot to lick off the spoon.
There's gay romance ; there's straight romance ; there's homo-curious/questioning/unclear and bi-racial/bi-cultural romance all set to chicky-pop music. There's fashion, sex, art, references to rom-com cliché and innuendo galore, and there's love. By golly, there's love. And did I mention there's a Britney Murphy sans Ashton Kutcher ? The only thing missing is the bow. I'm talking about the big, pink, satin bow that we can use to tie up Britney Murphy (minds out of the fantasy box, gentlemen) and present her back to Hollywood. Same old girl, but she's polished ! Reminds me of Renee Zellweger in DOWN TO LOVE. Oh, did that movie tank, too ? Strange, I liked it...
So despite a leading love interest who can't really act (sorry Santiago CABRERA) and an ending juuuust over-sweet enough to make us wish we didn't eat ALL the icing, LOVE is worth loving right from the start. Though it will kind of remind you of DOWN TO LOVE (lots of color, not much substance).
Overall rating : 2 thumbs up if I did thumbs, but only 3/5 stars, because, by definition of their utter, juvenile, vapid ridiculousness and formulaic unbelievability, no typical rom-com should ever get more than 60%. (That's right, Santiago. You failed the test.)
plot : Whoops, my gay boyfriend's straight.
thought : You'd like that, wouldn't you ?
Europa Corp hasn't made a ridiculously successful movie in quite some time, and unfortunately, this one's not bringing much money into Luc Besson's professional piggy bank, but in terms of success based on the plot-line of the modern romantic comedy (and I'm NOT comparing it to the ridiculously successful but brain-numbingly awful release of 2006, FAILURE TO LAUNCH), LOVE takes the cake, the cake box and the leftover frosting you forgot to lick off the spoon.
There's gay romance ; there's straight romance ; there's homo-curious/questioning/unclear and bi-racial/bi-cultural romance all set to chicky-pop music. There's fashion, sex, art, references to rom-com cliché and innuendo galore, and there's love. By golly, there's love. And did I mention there's a Britney Murphy sans Ashton Kutcher ? The only thing missing is the bow. I'm talking about the big, pink, satin bow that we can use to tie up Britney Murphy (minds out of the fantasy box, gentlemen) and present her back to Hollywood. Same old girl, but she's polished ! Reminds me of Renee Zellweger in DOWN TO LOVE. Oh, did that movie tank, too ? Strange, I liked it...
So despite a leading love interest who can't really act (sorry Santiago CABRERA) and an ending juuuust over-sweet enough to make us wish we didn't eat ALL the icing, LOVE is worth loving right from the start. Though it will kind of remind you of DOWN TO LOVE (lots of color, not much substance).
Overall rating : 2 thumbs up if I did thumbs, but only 3/5 stars, because, by definition of their utter, juvenile, vapid ridiculousness and formulaic unbelievability, no typical rom-com should ever get more than 60%. (That's right, Santiago. You failed the test.)
jeudi 3 mai 2007
Le Top 5 - semaine de 30 avril
EN FRANCE - http://www.commeaucinema.com/box.php3
1. Spiderman 3
2. Les Vacances de Mr.Bean (Mr.Bean's Holiday)
3. Next
4. J'veux pas que tu t'en ailles
5. Le Prix à payer
AUX ETATS-UNIS - http://imdb.com/
1. Distrubia
2. The Invisible
3. Next
4. Fracture
5. Blades of Glory
COMMENTARY
1. Spiderman 3 (phonetically known on this side of the ocean as "Speedermahn Twa") opened in France (and Asia) before the US ?!
2. I still haven't seen it...
3. Why are 4 of the top 5 US films action/drama/intrigue/mystery/not Will Ferrell-related ?
4. I said the French didn't like Mr.Bean's new movie. Apparently, I was wrong.
5. James Brown (deceased last year) was born today in 1933. Unrelated, but worth mentioning.
1. Spiderman 3
2. Les Vacances de Mr.Bean (Mr.Bean's Holiday)
3. Next
4. J'veux pas que tu t'en ailles
5. Le Prix à payer
AUX ETATS-UNIS - http://imdb.com/
1. Distrubia
2. The Invisible
3. Next
4. Fracture
5. Blades of Glory
COMMENTARY
1. Spiderman 3 (phonetically known on this side of the ocean as "Speedermahn Twa") opened in France (and Asia) before the US ?!
2. I still haven't seen it...
3. Why are 4 of the top 5 US films action/drama/intrigue/mystery/not Will Ferrell-related ?
4. I said the French didn't like Mr.Bean's new movie. Apparently, I was wrong.
5. James Brown (deceased last year) was born today in 1933. Unrelated, but worth mentioning.
MR. BEAN'S HOLIDAY
http://www.beansholiday.com/flash.html
plot : "At it again...in France."
thought : "Restrain intelligence ; enjoy the ride."
I have to preference the following "five" lines by admitting that I have never, ever seen a "Mr.Bean" movie. I know Mr.Bean as Rowen ATKINSON, like, you know, the funny jewelry clerk in LOVE ACTUALLY. Like a poser, I've called him Mr.Bean for years, but I never knew who Mr.Bean was until about two hours ago. He's a really annoying guy. His face is kind of gross in its contortional ability, and he moves oddly and can barely communicate with words. Is that how he's always been ? Is this "the" Mr.Bean ? Well, I must confess, I would hate him if he were a real person...and if it weren't for the fact that I'm certain he's of a small minority of half-goat-half-Englishman, and you can't hate the handicapped--that makes you evil.
But let me just say, once I realised with some sort of disdain and disappointment, "Oh. That's just how he is," the movie got much better. If you like physical humor (i actually don't), or any humor (ok, good), or if you like France (check), if you like Wilem DAFOE making fun of himself (check), if you like roadtrips and beaches (yeah, buddy), if you like light tales of unbelieveable romance (Jack Black and Kate Winslet just checked that box) and/or if you like that jewelry clerk from LOVE ACTUALLY and would like to see him goosed on novocaine--this is your movie. I'm almost (almost !) ashamed to say...I loved it. Though I've heard, for some reason, the French don't. Hmm.
Priceless scene : When Mr.Bean lip synchs to the opera number "O Mio Babbino Caro" with his German sidekick.
Overall rating : a stunning (and ridiculous) 4 out of 5
plot : "At it again...in France."
thought : "Restrain intelligence ; enjoy the ride."
I have to preference the following "five" lines by admitting that I have never, ever seen a "Mr.Bean" movie. I know Mr.Bean as Rowen ATKINSON, like, you know, the funny jewelry clerk in LOVE ACTUALLY. Like a poser, I've called him Mr.Bean for years, but I never knew who Mr.Bean was until about two hours ago. He's a really annoying guy. His face is kind of gross in its contortional ability, and he moves oddly and can barely communicate with words. Is that how he's always been ? Is this "the" Mr.Bean ? Well, I must confess, I would hate him if he were a real person...and if it weren't for the fact that I'm certain he's of a small minority of half-goat-half-Englishman, and you can't hate the handicapped--that makes you evil.
But let me just say, once I realised with some sort of disdain and disappointment, "Oh. That's just how he is," the movie got much better. If you like physical humor (i actually don't), or any humor (ok, good), or if you like France (check), if you like Wilem DAFOE making fun of himself (check), if you like roadtrips and beaches (yeah, buddy), if you like light tales of unbelieveable romance (Jack Black and Kate Winslet just checked that box) and/or if you like that jewelry clerk from LOVE ACTUALLY and would like to see him goosed on novocaine--this is your movie. I'm almost (almost !) ashamed to say...I loved it. Though I've heard, for some reason, the French don't. Hmm.
Priceless scene : When Mr.Bean lip synchs to the opera number "O Mio Babbino Caro" with his German sidekick.
Overall rating : a stunning (and ridiculous) 4 out of 5
A CASA NOSTRA
http://www.acasanostra-lefilm.com/
plot : "Hide your guns ; wifey's home."
thought : "Rich mobsters have weird problems."
Of course it's hot--it's Italy, baby. And though I haven't seen any other films by Francesca COMANCINI, the réalisatrice behind this rich mobster-heavy number, I have a feeling I'd like them. A CASA NOSTRA (which in the context of the film, I believe means "in our country"--oh, how uneducated I'll look if I'm wrong) unfolds like a banana. You think you've got the droopy fruit all before you, and then you realise the tough skin isn't the whole story--there's a soft, sweet story inside : a lot of unhappy people, some with and most without money, are trying to hold onto the lives they've come to loathe and yet desperately lead.
Honestly, I thought mobster's problems all involved some guy named "Acey" and a pair of brass knuckles. Maybe a cigar or two. And let's face it--when Laura CHIATTI's heating up the screen, you can't help but start looking around for your smoking jacket and referring to your clutched handbag as "the money sack." But once Valeria GOLINO, the tough cop (and top banana) of our film looks into the camera with her almost permanently teary eyes whilst Verdi arias sear your ears with sadness...you almost feel happy that your life's so damn normal.
Overall rating : 3.5 out of 5
plot : "Hide your guns ; wifey's home."
thought : "Rich mobsters have weird problems."
Of course it's hot--it's Italy, baby. And though I haven't seen any other films by Francesca COMANCINI, the réalisatrice behind this rich mobster-heavy number, I have a feeling I'd like them. A CASA NOSTRA (which in the context of the film, I believe means "in our country"--oh, how uneducated I'll look if I'm wrong) unfolds like a banana. You think you've got the droopy fruit all before you, and then you realise the tough skin isn't the whole story--there's a soft, sweet story inside : a lot of unhappy people, some with and most without money, are trying to hold onto the lives they've come to loathe and yet desperately lead.
Honestly, I thought mobster's problems all involved some guy named "Acey" and a pair of brass knuckles. Maybe a cigar or two. And let's face it--when Laura CHIATTI's heating up the screen, you can't help but start looking around for your smoking jacket and referring to your clutched handbag as "the money sack." But once Valeria GOLINO, the tough cop (and top banana) of our film looks into the camera with her almost permanently teary eyes whilst Verdi arias sear your ears with sadness...you almost feel happy that your life's so damn normal.
Overall rating : 3.5 out of 5
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