I'm not sure where to start on this one. I don't know where to begin. It was atrocious on a cinematic level. The jokes were tried, the story rather weak and Adam Sandler's selfish and vain attempts at physical comedy felt like Ben Stiller in ZOOLANDER meets Will Ferrell in TALLADEGA NIGHTS meets Ben Stiller in DODGEBALL meets Will FerrelL in SEMI-PRO...in other words, selfish and vain.
But on another level--the cultural one--ZOHAN was just shy of magnificent. Like seriously, I'm torn. I hated it and yet admired it. The film nerd in me cringed, laughed awkwardly, then cringed again, while the American Studies major beneath was squinting, contemplating and eating it in the whole time.
The story boasts an unlikely centerpiece: A Mossad agent (think CIA for Israel) fakes his death and escapes to America to follow out his lifelong dream of being a hair stylist for Paul Mitchell. There's a little John Turturro and Mariah Carey along the way. I knew this "plot" would be hard enough for me to completely embrace, but I still went in hopeful. But alas, the contrived set pieces made a mockery of my hope! I can't even describe them, they were so goofy. (And how many shots of Sandler's abs do I need to see in one movie? Okay, you're middle aged and not completely fat. Good for you.)
Luckily, what this film lacked in believability (and there was much lacking) it made up for in realistic--if at times over the top--cultural parodies of Israelis, Palestinians, Americans and bigots worldwide. Sandler even took a stab at Mel Gibson.
In short, his accent was pretty bad, but Sandler's constant use of contemporary language, thematic relevance and cultural empathy made the film...I won't say enjoyable...but I will say "less unbearable." And Ido Mosseri, as Zohan's buddy Oori, was great.
PLOT: imdb says, "Lather. Rinse. Save the world." I'm not messing with that.
THOUGHT: Another foreign hairdresser with 'tude.
IN FIVE: Oh man...I don't know...negative three? Or positive three?
WEBSITE: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/youdontmesswiththezohan/
dimanche 8 juin 2008
KUNG FU PANDA
Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Trust the Dreamworks
When I first watched promos for this film a few months ago, I was struck by one thought alone: "Kung Fu Panda? Isn't that racist?" In a world overtaken by the ramifications of being politically incorrect, my inquiry undoubtedly had its place. Luckily, Dreamworks--unlike Mark Meyers in the upcoming social rash THE LOVE GURU--really ironed out their kinks.
This is a movie where a panda bear in China voiced by Jack Black has a goose for a father and idolizes a female tiger for her kung fu skill--along with a monkey, a praying mantis, a crane, a viper--and shall we also mention the ancient, wise turtle (cleverly named Oogway, which means 'turtle' in Chinese, I'm told) who rules the pack and the muskrat/gerbil/whatever who teaches them? It's a land where every animal fits in. Jack Black's cartoon equiv could have been any animal, really. But a panda sells better to kids. They're cute and cuddly and, yes, Asian. Plus 'Kung Fu Panda' simply sounds a bit better than 'Kung Fu Asian Elephant' 'Kung Fu Sloth Bear' or 'Kung Fu Koala.' Actually, wait. I like Kung Fu Koala. There's alliteration there. Why didn't they go with that? Oh, right, koalas are Australian.
Anyway. The movie fairly impressed me. I really, really liked it. Not only was it not racist (whew), it also taught a great message to kids--a couple in fact--though the most crucial was the most obvious: believe in yourself. That, and exercise. Stress eating is not ok.
Now, I'm a known kung fu movie junkie--from a very young age, I was watching ENTER THE DRAGON and loving every minute--but even without that thirst for violent kicking, I think anyone, young or old, would enjoy PANDA. The film was clever, witty, fun and funny--and remarkably, there was no love story grounding its plot. I rather liked that, too. I don't know what Pixar has in store with WALL-E, but I'm seriously hoping PANDA is setting the standard for the summer's animated numbers.
PLOT: Cartoon panda saves a village.
THOUGHT: Did I expose the plot?!
IN FIVE: 4/5
HIIIII-YAH: http://www.kungfupanda.com/
When I first watched promos for this film a few months ago, I was struck by one thought alone: "Kung Fu Panda? Isn't that racist?" In a world overtaken by the ramifications of being politically incorrect, my inquiry undoubtedly had its place. Luckily, Dreamworks--unlike Mark Meyers in the upcoming social rash THE LOVE GURU--really ironed out their kinks.
This is a movie where a panda bear in China voiced by Jack Black has a goose for a father and idolizes a female tiger for her kung fu skill--along with a monkey, a praying mantis, a crane, a viper--and shall we also mention the ancient, wise turtle (cleverly named Oogway, which means 'turtle' in Chinese, I'm told) who rules the pack and the muskrat/gerbil/whatever who teaches them? It's a land where every animal fits in. Jack Black's cartoon equiv could have been any animal, really. But a panda sells better to kids. They're cute and cuddly and, yes, Asian. Plus 'Kung Fu Panda' simply sounds a bit better than 'Kung Fu Asian Elephant' 'Kung Fu Sloth Bear' or 'Kung Fu Koala.' Actually, wait. I like Kung Fu Koala. There's alliteration there. Why didn't they go with that? Oh, right, koalas are Australian.
Anyway. The movie fairly impressed me. I really, really liked it. Not only was it not racist (whew), it also taught a great message to kids--a couple in fact--though the most crucial was the most obvious: believe in yourself. That, and exercise. Stress eating is not ok.
Now, I'm a known kung fu movie junkie--from a very young age, I was watching ENTER THE DRAGON and loving every minute--but even without that thirst for violent kicking, I think anyone, young or old, would enjoy PANDA. The film was clever, witty, fun and funny--and remarkably, there was no love story grounding its plot. I rather liked that, too. I don't know what Pixar has in store with WALL-E, but I'm seriously hoping PANDA is setting the standard for the summer's animated numbers.
PLOT: Cartoon panda saves a village.
THOUGHT: Did I expose the plot?!
IN FIVE: 4/5
HIIIII-YAH: http://www.kungfupanda.com/
samedi 7 juin 2008
Did I forget to talk about SEX AND THE CITY???
Yes, I did!
It was great. A two-and-an-half hour episode of the cheekiest slut show ever to air on American cable. Yeah, they're bad actresses (just awful, really), and yeah, the plot is predictable (wildly so), and yeah, I got sick of Sarah Jessica Parker's character pretending she cares about anyone other than herself (because we know she doesn't), but all that aside--and even with all that--the film made me laugh, cry (er...tear up, but no streaks), and it even made me say "I LOVED that movie!"--in CAPS--just as the credits started to roll. So if sex is your thing (and it is), you won't be disappointed. My only complaint was all the crazily changing clothes. That, and the teeny bopper girls who were lined up hours before the flick, dressed to the nines, flat out dolled, really, wearing gold heels with perfume spritz and sparkles in their hair. Made it suffocating to walk anywhere near a movie theatre all weekend. Did they think SJP was going to make it to their theatre? She didn't, kids. Didn't we cover that? Only cares about herself.
THE PLOT: Sex and the City! Woo!
THE THOUGHT: Also starring Jennifer Hudson as Token.
IN FIVE: 4/5 (for what it was...but if it wasn't what it was, it woulda been a 2...lezzbehonest)
HERE, HERE: http://www.sexandthecitymovie.com/
It was great. A two-and-an-half hour episode of the cheekiest slut show ever to air on American cable. Yeah, they're bad actresses (just awful, really), and yeah, the plot is predictable (wildly so), and yeah, I got sick of Sarah Jessica Parker's character pretending she cares about anyone other than herself (because we know she doesn't), but all that aside--and even with all that--the film made me laugh, cry (er...tear up, but no streaks), and it even made me say "I LOVED that movie!"--in CAPS--just as the credits started to roll. So if sex is your thing (and it is), you won't be disappointed. My only complaint was all the crazily changing clothes. That, and the teeny bopper girls who were lined up hours before the flick, dressed to the nines, flat out dolled, really, wearing gold heels with perfume spritz and sparkles in their hair. Made it suffocating to walk anywhere near a movie theatre all weekend. Did they think SJP was going to make it to their theatre? She didn't, kids. Didn't we cover that? Only cares about herself.
THE PLOT: Sex and the City! Woo!
THE THOUGHT: Also starring Jennifer Hudson as Token.
IN FIVE: 4/5 (for what it was...but if it wasn't what it was, it woulda been a 2...lezzbehonest)
HERE, HERE: http://www.sexandthecitymovie.com/
Free is Key: a week's worth of borrowed rentals
Started off last Sunday screening (finally) SHAUN OF THE DEAD, the cheeky zombie flick from the Simon Pegg and the same folks who brought us this year's RUN FATBOY RUN. It was on Comedy Central, randomly. On a Sunday!
SHAUN OF THE DEAD
plot: A romantic comedy. With zombies. (yes, that was lifted from their press kit)
thought: Random plot, good follow through.
in five: 3.5/5
find it: http://www.shaunofthedeadmovie.com/noflash.html
And it somehow made sense to move from matters of the undead to matters of the sick and living. I'm not usually into documentaries (and I also lazily roll my eyes at 'based on a true story' flicks), but Michael Moore usually presents his bombastic and at times annoying--and usually depressing--tirades in a humorous light, so I thought, why not?
SICKO
plot: American health insurance sucks hard.
thought: I'm moving back to France.
in five: 3.5/5
find it: http://www.michaelmoore.com/sicko/dvd/
From the same friend who gave me SICKO, I was able to nab two more pictures, both centered around the industry in which we work. The first already is hailed as required screening for film and tv kids who dream of 'making it big.' The second should be.
SWIMMING WITH SHARKS
plot: Be nice to your assistant.
thought: Or hire a better assistant!
in five: 4/5
find it: http://www.amazon.com/Swimming-Sharks-Kevin-Spacey/dp/1573624047
Unlike the kid who played the less-than-mediocre assistant in SWIMMING WITH SHARKS, David Duchovny (did I just compare him to Frank Whaley???) shines in THE TV SET. And so does Sigourney Weaver! This movie is an hilarious look at how a tv pilot makes the trek from script to production to eventually--often unfortunately--reach our living rooms. It's honest and bleak and funny and pretty much good stuff.
THE TV SET
plot: Studio butchers project for cash.
thought: And isn't that the point?
in five: 4/5
find it: http://www.netflix.com/Movie/The_TV_Set/70063592?lnkctr=srchrd-sr&strkid=656221981_0_0
SHAUN OF THE DEAD
plot: A romantic comedy. With zombies. (yes, that was lifted from their press kit)
thought: Random plot, good follow through.
in five: 3.5/5
find it: http://www.shaunofthedeadmovie.com/noflash.html
And it somehow made sense to move from matters of the undead to matters of the sick and living. I'm not usually into documentaries (and I also lazily roll my eyes at 'based on a true story' flicks), but Michael Moore usually presents his bombastic and at times annoying--and usually depressing--tirades in a humorous light, so I thought, why not?
SICKO
plot: American health insurance sucks hard.
thought: I'm moving back to France.
in five: 3.5/5
find it: http://www.michaelmoore.com/sicko/dvd/
From the same friend who gave me SICKO, I was able to nab two more pictures, both centered around the industry in which we work. The first already is hailed as required screening for film and tv kids who dream of 'making it big.' The second should be.
SWIMMING WITH SHARKS
plot: Be nice to your assistant.
thought: Or hire a better assistant!
in five: 4/5
find it: http://www.amazon.com/Swimming-Sharks-Kevin-Spacey/dp/1573624047
Unlike the kid who played the less-than-mediocre assistant in SWIMMING WITH SHARKS, David Duchovny (did I just compare him to Frank Whaley???) shines in THE TV SET. And so does Sigourney Weaver! This movie is an hilarious look at how a tv pilot makes the trek from script to production to eventually--often unfortunately--reach our living rooms. It's honest and bleak and funny and pretty much good stuff.
THE TV SET
plot: Studio butchers project for cash.
thought: And isn't that the point?
in five: 4/5
find it: http://www.netflix.com/Movie/The_TV_Set/70063592?lnkctr=srchrd-sr&strkid=656221981_0_0
dimanche 1 juin 2008
WE EAT THE CITY (Memorial Day weekend)
A friend in town, who we'll call Alimenti (which apparently means "food" or "nourishment" in Italian), forced me to stretch my stomach muscles last weekend. I haven't fully recovered (just ask the full plate of cheese, crackers, cookies and brownies I crammed down the hatch last night as "light appero" at a friend's soiree), but it was a mission worth eating for.
The project goal was to take Alimenti to a number of eating and drinking destinations that, in my opinion, define Fire City's ever-changing, lip-smacking, lick-worthy palate. Starting Saturday of the loooong weekend, we enjoyed an early morning cupa at my favorite organic anytime eatery, Urth Caffe. Their honey chai latte is definitely worth revisiting. But that's for another weekend, since we zipped off shortly after for brunch at Toast.
The first time I ate at Toast, I was awed and amazed not just by their food, but also by the ambiance and the pleasurable waitstaff. This time, though the sofa seats were still sublime, the tri-berry pancakes...not so much. I know better than to get pancakes anywhere but IHOP! What was I thinking?
We took a break after Toast then decided on late lunch. Why? Because I'd made 3pm reservations at the uber-up tight Pizzeria Mozza and didn't want to upset them by cancelling. This place is nothing but annoying before you get in the door, but once seated, you're well taken care of and deliciously content. It is worth the hassle. I almost don't want to say that, but it's true. The pizza is that good. Not to be outdown by the appetizers, though! We started with the avocado, agretti & walnut (a MUST!) and went big with the Eggplant Caponata. Both so delectably and interestingly flavored. "Agretti" is a bitter green, tastes kind of like spinach but looks like a small, grassy fern. And it's great against the avocado and the light brushing of mustardy vinaigrette over the walnuts. Our all-star pizzas included the BIANCA (very best, pure perfection), SQUASH BLOSSOM (the burrata is heavenly!) and the FUNGHI (over-salty, unfortunately, and the mushrooms were overcooked...but it was the one-pizza-too-many that we shouldn't have ordered anyway, so I almost blame us).
Because lunch at Mozza set us back one hundred dollars (yeah, 'cause we got wine, too) and filled us--or at least me--in an unnatural way, I swore off food for the rest of the day. But I did take Alimenti to pick up dessert at Michel Ricard, a French patisserie just next door to the Robertson location of my nostalgic favorite, LE PAIN QUOTIDIEN. If I hadn't been so full, I would have tried something to re-imagine myself in France....
Sunday brought on a new rush of food and beverage activities, for Sunday was unofficially Wine Day. Along with another friend who I'll call Ithaca, we set off early (after a pit stop at Urth) for north of Santa Barbara to tour the wine region. On our way we stopped at my new favorite in-the-midde-of-nowhere bakery (did I have an old favorite?) called Anna's Bakery in...well, the middle of nowhere. Their cookies were fantastic (I had gingersnap and snickerdoodle--oooh, one too many). From there we managed to hit four great wineries: Palmina, Melville, Babcock and Mosby. Alimenti bought a half case at Palmina (their Treminer wooed him in); I bought a wonderful white from Melville, as did Ithaca, and she also bought a delicious raspberry dessert wine at Mosby. We've got food and dessert plans galore as a result.
Post-wineries, we traveled back downward to Santa Barbara, stopping at a cute coffee bistro off State Street called Pierre Lafond. Like I hadn't already had one, I had *another* gingersnap cookie (Anna's was way better!) and downed an okay espresso (only okay) to make the drive home.
Monday morning before Alimenti's flight we trekked out to Santa Monica to Caffe Luxxe, where I had the best espresso of my life since coming back to the States...and the worst madeleine ever. I think they were a few days old. But the coffee did the trick, and I will recommend them in the future. We skedaddled our way to the airport after that, and I bid Alimenti adieu...that is until weekend after next when I head up to Town City to enjoy a gastronomic visit of my own.
Oy, I'm full just thinking about it.
THE SPOTS
urth caffe - http://www.urthcaffe.com/
toast - http://www.toastbakerycafe.net/
pizzeria mozza (and the even more pricey osteria) - http://www.mozza-la.com/
michel ricard - http://www.maisonrichard.com/
anna's bakery - http://www.annas-bakery.net/mozilla/index.html
wine country - http://www.sbcountywines.com/
pierre lafond - http://www.pierrelafond.com/
caffe luxxe - http://www.caffeluxxe.com/
THE RATINGS
urth - 5/5
toast - 3/5 this visit, 4/5 usually
pizzeria mozza - 4.5/5 (i *almost* blamed me for that pizza. but it was them.)
michel ricard - looked good
anna's bakery - 5/5 for cookies!
palmina winery - 4.5/5 (loses for ambiance, gains for snack and obviously wine quality)
melville winery - 3.5/5 (mediocre wines except the one I bought...but they forgot to charge us for our visit, so hey, I still like them!)
babcock winery - we missed the tasting, can't say
mosby winery - 3/5
pierre lafond - 3.5/5
caffe luxxe - 4/5
Updates to come:
- Sushi at the famous Studio City KATSU-YA (five stars!)
- The fabulous SEX AND THE CITY film (five stars!)
The project goal was to take Alimenti to a number of eating and drinking destinations that, in my opinion, define Fire City's ever-changing, lip-smacking, lick-worthy palate. Starting Saturday of the loooong weekend, we enjoyed an early morning cupa at my favorite organic anytime eatery, Urth Caffe. Their honey chai latte is definitely worth revisiting. But that's for another weekend, since we zipped off shortly after for brunch at Toast.
The first time I ate at Toast, I was awed and amazed not just by their food, but also by the ambiance and the pleasurable waitstaff. This time, though the sofa seats were still sublime, the tri-berry pancakes...not so much. I know better than to get pancakes anywhere but IHOP! What was I thinking?
We took a break after Toast then decided on late lunch. Why? Because I'd made 3pm reservations at the uber-up tight Pizzeria Mozza and didn't want to upset them by cancelling. This place is nothing but annoying before you get in the door, but once seated, you're well taken care of and deliciously content. It is worth the hassle. I almost don't want to say that, but it's true. The pizza is that good. Not to be outdown by the appetizers, though! We started with the avocado, agretti & walnut (a MUST!) and went big with the Eggplant Caponata. Both so delectably and interestingly flavored. "Agretti" is a bitter green, tastes kind of like spinach but looks like a small, grassy fern. And it's great against the avocado and the light brushing of mustardy vinaigrette over the walnuts. Our all-star pizzas included the BIANCA (very best, pure perfection), SQUASH BLOSSOM (the burrata is heavenly!) and the FUNGHI (over-salty, unfortunately, and the mushrooms were overcooked...but it was the one-pizza-too-many that we shouldn't have ordered anyway, so I almost blame us).
Because lunch at Mozza set us back one hundred dollars (yeah, 'cause we got wine, too) and filled us--or at least me--in an unnatural way, I swore off food for the rest of the day. But I did take Alimenti to pick up dessert at Michel Ricard, a French patisserie just next door to the Robertson location of my nostalgic favorite, LE PAIN QUOTIDIEN. If I hadn't been so full, I would have tried something to re-imagine myself in France....
Sunday brought on a new rush of food and beverage activities, for Sunday was unofficially Wine Day. Along with another friend who I'll call Ithaca, we set off early (after a pit stop at Urth) for north of Santa Barbara to tour the wine region. On our way we stopped at my new favorite in-the-midde-of-nowhere bakery (did I have an old favorite?) called Anna's Bakery in...well, the middle of nowhere. Their cookies were fantastic (I had gingersnap and snickerdoodle--oooh, one too many). From there we managed to hit four great wineries: Palmina, Melville, Babcock and Mosby. Alimenti bought a half case at Palmina (their Treminer wooed him in); I bought a wonderful white from Melville, as did Ithaca, and she also bought a delicious raspberry dessert wine at Mosby. We've got food and dessert plans galore as a result.
Post-wineries, we traveled back downward to Santa Barbara, stopping at a cute coffee bistro off State Street called Pierre Lafond. Like I hadn't already had one, I had *another* gingersnap cookie (Anna's was way better!) and downed an okay espresso (only okay) to make the drive home.
Monday morning before Alimenti's flight we trekked out to Santa Monica to Caffe Luxxe, where I had the best espresso of my life since coming back to the States...and the worst madeleine ever. I think they were a few days old. But the coffee did the trick, and I will recommend them in the future. We skedaddled our way to the airport after that, and I bid Alimenti adieu...that is until weekend after next when I head up to Town City to enjoy a gastronomic visit of my own.
Oy, I'm full just thinking about it.
THE SPOTS
urth caffe - http://www.urthcaffe.com/
toast - http://www.toastbakerycafe.net/
pizzeria mozza (and the even more pricey osteria) - http://www.mozza-la.com/
michel ricard - http://www.maisonrichard.com/
anna's bakery - http://www.annas-bakery.net/mozilla/index.html
wine country - http://www.sbcountywines.com/
pierre lafond - http://www.pierrelafond.com/
caffe luxxe - http://www.caffeluxxe.com/
THE RATINGS
urth - 5/5
toast - 3/5 this visit, 4/5 usually
pizzeria mozza - 4.5/5 (i *almost* blamed me for that pizza. but it was them.)
michel ricard - looked good
anna's bakery - 5/5 for cookies!
palmina winery - 4.5/5 (loses for ambiance, gains for snack and obviously wine quality)
melville winery - 3.5/5 (mediocre wines except the one I bought...but they forgot to charge us for our visit, so hey, I still like them!)
babcock winery - we missed the tasting, can't say
mosby winery - 3/5
pierre lafond - 3.5/5
caffe luxxe - 4/5
Updates to come:
- Sushi at the famous Studio City KATSU-YA (five stars!)
- The fabulous SEX AND THE CITY film (five stars!)
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