STREET KINGS

Don't do it, Keanu. Don't look so confused and stare at the camera and act like you didn't know "this whole thing was a set-up."

Aaaaargh, too late!

Caught the new Keanu Reeves feature via free screening at Poor Mall (I don't remember the official name I may have given this shopping centre in an earlier post, but bottom line is that this pretty outdoor mall has gotten ghetto).

The screening perks were nice--free popcorn and a bottle of water to cleanse the liquid butter-coated palate--but the visual fare to be shared left me less than whelmed. Though the "loose cannon cop tries to unlock the system just to discover the system has him on lock down" plot is pretty tired, it was quite an event watching all the over-bloody violence the producers shoved into the movie to urge us not to notice their failed attempt at novelty. But what really gave them away was the cast. There were just enough names to roster a fifth season of "Dancing with the Stars: A and Almost A-list Edition" From Hugh Laurie to Common to Chris Evans to Forest Whitaker to The Game to Cedric "The Entertainer" Kyles...it was all very suspicious. In outrage, I almost threw my free snacks at the screen.

PLOT: Cop fights the system, loses.
THOUGHT: Keanu fights the critics, loses.
IN FIVE: 2/5...hmmm...1/5

THE MOVIE: http://www.foxsearchlight.com/streetkings/