GBF: My Bloody Valentine 3D

GIRL’S BEST FRIEND
…Because sex should only cost eleven dollars.

Your girl is gold. Planning date night, however, can often be shit. But sometimes in life, you have to rifle through shit to get to gold--just ask Mickey Rourke. Luckily, there's one thing you know for sure: your girl likes movies. Need a hand in making post-dinner plans? Here is the weekly, one-stop guide to your girl’s best friend (and the inner girl in you).

It's not very often that a movie about pretty people getting hacked up on Valentine's Day gets noticed. (It's also not very often that that movie gets released mid-January--what's that about?) But when you're a producer for a film such as this, you know you're going to wear a shit-eating grin all the way to the bank. It's the movie everyone will pan yet, for some reason, everyone (and their girlfriend) will see. For the record--I won't be seeing it. But just in case romantic slashers aren't that unappealing to you...and you already saw Paul Blart: Mall Cop...here's a slasher with a twist.

My Bloody Valentine
Why she might want to see it: Pretty people getting hacked up! Proves 'pretty' can't buy you everything. Not even life. (Plus, that hot, half-gay guy from "Dawson's Creek" is in it!)

Why you might not: Lunch was great, not ready to lose it.

The silver lining: THREE-DIMENSIONAL KILLING SPREE! Yeah, it means blood in your face, but it also means snuggle time with the girl as you shield her (or she shields you) from the spray...and she shields herself from your lunch.

Tips for the untrained:
- The director of My Bloody Valentine, Patrick Lussier, has become a recent horror staple with films like The Eye and Red Eye (and rumor has it he's in talks to direct the cult classic, "Pink Eye," and its lesser known sequel, "Stink Eye"). If you and your date both like horror: Lussier Night? Grab some candles and blood-red wine, stat.
- If you're on the side of those who want to see this film (you could be), and you need to convince your lover to desire the same, perhaps a look at the hot, still-kind-of-young stars in it might help. Some other "nights" to consider: Kerr Smith Night ("Justice" was cancelled before its time!); Jaime King Night (she was in White Chicks!); and naturally, Jenson Ackles Night ("Supernatural" is still on the air?).
- Or better yet, how about a classic horror movie night? Start with an historic winner like Psycho and move forward in time from there. Finish your weekend with My Bloody Valentine, bemoan the death of Kerr Smith (is it wrong I foresee that happening?), and pocket some free 3D glasses along the way.

Unfortch, this weekend's BO has trouble written all over it--you're looking at Hotel for Dogs on one end and Paul Blart (do you know what "blart" means??) on the other. But remember that rental night is not overrated! On a theme of V-Day Cometh One Month Early, you could shirk the cinema seats--as I might strongly suggest this week--for some sofa time. Vicky Cristina Barcelona, the Woody Allen-directed chick anthem of the year and winner of Best Musical or Comedy at the Golden Globes, has recently surfaced on DVD. Put that sucker in the player and you're basically initiating two hours of foreplay between you, your girl and Penelope Cruz. Just don't get angry if Javier Bardem tries to get in there, too.

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