2009, Bienvenue

An un-resolution by a friend I'll call...EuroSmash. She is too fantastic for words.

I resolve to have no resolutions- and therein is my absolution
Today at 3:30pm

I have five full wardrobes in three different countries, filled with everything from ball gowns to gym clothes but very often can't find anything to wear. I have over a hundred pairs of shoes and get irate when people waste. I have first edition books lying in a cellar somewhere in Paris, crystal glasses stacked in their wooden crates somewhere in the winelands of South Africa, some more in a metal case in my mother's walk in closet and about sixty pairs of earings but I'm always in my pearls. I've collected some antique, not vintage, Chanel and can't even remember which country I have left them in. My friends- scattered from east to west, north to south taking a big part of me with them, are all testiment to memories that will keep me young when I am 82 but I don't tell them how inexplicably wonderful they are often enough. I was on track to buy my Aston Martin DBS and left it all to write a book I don't know if anyone will ever want to read. I didn't give up smoking even though I watched God collect my father after a terrible and brave battle with lung cancer. I gave up swearing, took up tennis and blasphemed my way through every set, didn't drink for almost two years and had a bath in champagne- thirty two bottles to be exact. I have tried to be kind to mother nature and taken flights to three countries in one day- leaving much more behind than a carbon footprint. I have over 800 facebook friends but possibly speak to 100 from time to time and even then not as often as I'd like to. I have vowed to be kind to strangers and then was not so nice to some people I love most. I decided I would spend more time listening- and then got lost in my own thoughts.

So what is a new year's resolution? A time to start over? An opportunity to let bygones be just that? A chance to reinvent yourself perhaps? A clocking of a second that makes a new year into an old one- an old into a new? What is it about those few seconds that has us all racing to make promises that are notoriously unkept?

I say everyday is a chance to say sorry, to bring out the crystal and wear those fucking shoes. Today is as good a day as any to try to make a diference. Right now is just fine if you feel like taking up croquet and giving up casual relationships. Next week or next month is just as good as January first to start giving your thoughts words, to stop eating rubbish, excercise more and take up new hobbies. Go live in that country even if it means you'll be poor for the entire time you're there and have that extra glass of bubbles because life without its celebrations is no life at all. Stretch. And most of all; breath. Youth is what happens when you're collecting the stories that make you interesting to your daughters. Stop and give the homeless vagabon a hug- trust me, there is something uplifting about how bad he smells versus the look on his face. Sing happy birthday to a stranger on a boat and make friends over a sandwich at one AM. Get together with those people you have been meaning to see- and stop saying you would like to when you know you don't. Its ok- we have all been there. Often. Don't waste your money- you worked for it, doesn't even matter if you worked hard or not. But if you did, you're only robbing yourself. I know I could go on holiday twice a year with the cash I spend on taxis when the walk would have been more beautiful.

So 2009 you illusive 365 days- I'll be 27 with you. 27 trips around the sun have taught me many things but your predessesor taught me humility. Where 2007 was grace, 2006 was stregnth and 2005 redemption, I look forward to what you will bring out of me. But I make no resolutions- I don't want to magically improve myself and I wouldn't want to cheat by saying I will. I could wake up like Ernest Hemmingway with every sunrise and go to bed in Chanel no 5 like Marilyn; but I like being on my own at 2 AM and the musk oils I have made for me better. I like Ca Bauda prosecco just as much as I like veuve clicquot. This skin is mine and I wouldn't choose any other. My inbox and love letters have the names of all I hold dear and space for those I miss.

May 2009 be not an empty quest. May you wake up every day with a reason to supercede your own expectations and light your own stars- because we are here... solely... for no one apart from ourselves because as Walt said -What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

2009 I toasted you with champagne, friends speaking many languages all of which I know, tango dancing and fireworks. I said hello wearing gem stones mined in only one country on the globe and a bustier bought for me by an enemy that became my closest friend, with an a sister I admire and friends I treaure. Thus far you have been kind. May there be music, heart break and endless hours of contemplation. May there be continuous laughter, incontorlable giggles and a place for my family to always know how poweful it is....... And may we find that lesson that takes us from who we are to who we want to be in 2010 and 2012 and 2040..... and may we ne not afraid.

letop5 actually does have a few resolutions, but this was far too good to ignore. Il n'y a rien plus a dire. Le nouvel an commence!